Finding Beauty in Negative Places
by InvaderMads45321
Summary: It is mid-winter, and Johnny resurrected must cope with the idea that Madeleine, his 'friend', my OC, had died of anorexia. With the doughboys replaced with Reverend Meat, Johnny has had enough, and takes a holiday... Is Maddie really dead? It's a SEQUEL
1. Chapter 1

(JOHNNY'S POV) (5 months later)

Johnny opened his eyes and moaned, angry that he was found sleeping, once again. Pulling half of his body from the ground, he bent forward in a familiar position, and let his eyes scan his room.

Bits and pieces of debris lay strewn around the room, cluttering the area around him. Over to his left was a shelf, untouched and whole, with a Bub's burger boy sitting atop of it.

_**Hmmm… the world still exists. I must still, be alive.**_

"**HELLO-O-O-O?... HELLO?... Hmmm… No answer. No voices. No doughboys… NOTHING. It's just me."**

Getting up from his place on the floor, Johnny steadied himself and looked back to the burger boy, **"It' s so quiet now, huh?" **Johnny widened his eyes, and cupped his chin in his hand as he looked to the talking decoration. **"Just me and a talking Bub's burger boy…"**

Crossing his arms over his chest, Johnny walked around the room, testing his leg joints, and continued on, **"or is that just my voice I'm hearing? How can I tell? I'm not used to this – being in control…"**

Johnny walked over to his window, stepping over the piles of wood and other assortments of useless things, adding, **"I wonder if I'm still crazy…"**

Johnny's mind flipped to a cheerleader whose legs were sawed off in a brutal fashion. Smirking, Johnny put his hands to his hips, an air of victory flooding within him**. "OKAY. That answers that. Still, I feel so strange… Unfettered! Things can be different, now. This is big! I must think this out. It's important. I'm at the threshold of something grand and NEW."**

Johnny looked up to the stars outside, and his excitement faded as he thought back to Madeleine, who had been his bestest, bestest friend… but died, not keeping the promise to continue eating. She had died due to a severe stage of anorexia, shutting down her organs and her heart… or so he heard.

Johnny's eye twitched and a breeze blew in from the window, and cooling Johnny's unnaturally bald head. Nny raised an eyebrow and he laid a hand on the top of his head, feeling two tufts of hair fall onto his forehead.

He remembered back to Mr. Satan, who was disguised as a horrid cheerleader, and recalled that he had mentioned that his hair would fall out.

Of course, he didn't quite believe that he had died at all, and he just considered it all was just a nightmare, in which he sleep-shaved his hair off. His hand retreated back to cross over his chest in a self-conscious manner and he turned around.

Looking over to the burger boy on the shelf the decoration had started speaking**. "Pssst! Hey, nny. It's been a while since you've eaten anything. Don't you want to go out? Maybe get some Chinese?" **

Looking at the burger boy up and down, Johnny's eyes narrowed in suspicion and curiosity. Heading to the decoration, he leaned against the shelf and looked over to it**, "hey… I've been meaning to ask you- who are you?" You're the only thing here that can talk, but you don't sound like one of the doughboys."**

The shiny plastic of the decoration glinted in the light of the room, **"doughboys- nothing but here manifestations of a manifestation. You're awake now, Nny, and I'm no dream. I live inside of you."**

Johnny bowed his head in conclusion, **"so the, you are like the doughboys."**

"**Hardly. See, I'm holding up a giant hamburger."** Johnny, still not convinced replied in an, **"ah."**

The conversation continued on and the tension between them grew steadily stronger along with fury lighting up in Johnny's eyes. Oh, was he TIRED of being a FLUSHER. He wanted OUT of this! He was DONE!

"**Dream or not, I just got through being a slave. The last thing I need now is to quarrel with my own organics. It should go willingly. I should own it! I have my freedom."** Johnny stated with slight irritation in his voice, but Reverend Meat continued on with loud finality**, "NO SUCH THING! NO SUCH THING!"**

"**I'M A SLAVE TO NOTHING YOU LITTLE BURGER EATING KIND OF MEATY GUY! NOTHING!" **Johnny yelled with anger pulsing through him.

"**There is no choice. You are always a slave to something…"**

He had ENOUGH of this.

Sighing, Nny started heading to his closet to retrieve his coat. Shrugging on the covering, Johnny headed downstairs and into the dark cell below.

(5 minutes later)

Crawling out of the tunnel between Squee and Johnny's house which was filled with rotting corpses, he crawled up from the basement, and stealthily walked through the halls of Todd's home until he finally reached Squee's bedroom. Opening the door, a flood of light infiltrated the room, waking up a sleeping Todd and Shmee.

"**Psst! Pssst! Hey, Squeegee! Wake up, it's me."**

Moments passed, Johnny finally making up his mind about where Johnny was to go. He mentioned about leaving, and the holiday he was going on, warning Squee that Squee would have to live without the shortage of help that Johnny gave him. Unfortunately, Todd's father interrupted, and forced Johnny to knock him out cold and give the father permanent blindness.

Johnny continued to talk about how they should keep up with the secret meetings every now and then, bringing up the case of his father and the capabilities of blindness, all the way to learning ninja moves and monkeys. Jonny added, close to the end of the nighttime meeting, **"I'm going out the window this time, okay? The underground tunnel's gotten a bit thick with corpses… Good luck, Squee. SLEEP TIGHT."**

Ending with that, Johnny closed the window and shivered.

A blanket of snow was laid out on the ground, his steel-toed boots crunching through the compacted snow beneath him.

Looking up, Johnny tugged his coat tighter around his thin body as he gazed at the sparkling stars above; the Big Dipper, Little Dipper, Aires… Johnny looked back down to his surroundings as he trudged farther through the snow towards his destination.

It was several minutes later that Johnny finally reached the gates of the cemetery, entering in silence and respect as he weaved through the graves and headstones.

Meeting with his own parent's graves first, he looked over the smooth, buffed headstones; the epitaphs and letters were covered with a thin layer of snow. Johnny wiped the cold fluff away with his hand, and backed away, looking at the two graves that lay beside each other; just two, regular, square shaped stones.

Johnny rubbed his neck as he stared at the stones, a strange onset of sorrow creeping through him. It wasn't a flood of suffering that was thrown upon him, it was just a twinge of depression that pricked at his heart. He never fully knew his parents; he was only a child when he lost them to a murderer who intruded on their house, slaughtering them in a gruesome act.

Shuddering from the chilly wind that bit against his skin, he buried his face into the collar of his coat, supplying himself with what little warmth he had.

"I could just be…. Talking to myself right now but, fuck… It really is Hell being alone…"

Johnny stayed there for several more moments before continuing on through the assortment of headstones. Until he stopped at the family he was searching for.

But…. Surely Madeleine would be buried alongside her family….wouldn't she? Johnny's eyes scanned the area around but came to no avail in search for her grave.

Johnny's eyes narrowed and he left the cemetery, slipping on a slab of ice on the sidewalk. His face slammed onto the pavement, but it did no damage to him as he got back up, brushing the snow off of his body.

Johnny headed through several streets, passing carolers and donation Santa's.

Not noticing the slight cloud cover, Johnny was welcomed with small snow flurries blowing in the air. But, instead of enjoying the fluffy snow bits, he entered a large hotel building, eyeing a familiar elegant fountain which was turned off due to the pipes freezing over.

Heading toward the counter on Johnny's right, he consulted a woman consisting in her thirty's. She smiled as Johnny headed toward her, a shine of hope in his eyes. "Merry Christmas," she greeted.

"Hey, I'm not here to take a room, I just need to know if a Madeleine K. is signed in at the hotel…" Johnny rubbed his hands together before stuffing them into his pockets.

The woman typed away, searching for any results that led up to Madeleine's name.

"No, sir. I'm sorry, but she just moved out a few weeks ago." The employee frowned slightly, as seeing that she could not help her customer.

"What? Does it list where she went? Or where she is now?"

(MADELEINE'S POV)

Inside of an apartment sat a girl dressed in a black tank top, green and pink spotted, festive pajama pants, a black, fluffy bathrobe and festive reindeer slippers. Her black hair curtained her face as she sat, bent over her sketchpad, eyes and face intent and serious as she sketched out a drawing of the cliff that looked out upon the city.

Surrounding the young woman was a coffee table which held more sketchbooks, a large novel which was untouched, and a cup of steaming coffee. A plate of store-bought cookies sat at the opposite corner of the table, farthest away from her. Over in the corner of the room sat a rather small, silver Christmas tree lined with several smaller, delicate ornaments which hung off its branches. No presents hid under the tree, awaiting to be unwrapped.

A stereo which was sitting upon a small desk was playing classic Christmas carols; a CD disk set on replay.

A lamp sat beside the determined artist, giving the room a milky glow, giving the room a homey, comforting look. Madeleine was close to finishing her sketch… just add some shading here… erase an error there… draw one more-

The shrill sound of her doorbell rang out, stating that a visitor was standing at her door.

Damn carolers.

They would NEVER FUCK OFF; they just kept coming… expecting me to enjoy their uneven and horrid voices all in one song. It drove her insane hearing the noise that came out from their mouths as they tried to hit the key.

Setting her pencil and sketchbook aside, she got up from her place on the couch and sulked to the door, and turned the knob, "how many times do I have to fucking TELL YOU, I DON'T WANT ANY DAMN-"

Madeleine stopped abruptly, gawking at her visitor.

He couldn't be… here. No, it was just a dream. Yeah. A fucking dream.

"…J…Johnny?"

(AUTHOR'S NOTE)

Yay. Submitted my first chapter for the story! If you haven't already read the first story, it's called, An Unstable Friendship . Be sure to read that first, so you can get a better grasp on the story line.

Hee. I meant to start of this story with Johnny waking up/ resurrecting. I didn't add the trip to heaven an hell, because I would have had to add the scene where Johnny kills himself and so forth and so on…

I personally found those scenes dull; it took away from the plot of THIS story.

Yes, I know, this chapter is a little…. Choppy, but it will all fill out later in the story… so no worries.

I stayed up all night writing this for you, _so put on a smile, and lets make this pleasant._ (:

The **BOLD **writing are specific quotes from the comic issues… and none of it belongs to me… which leads me to the DISCLAIMER!: Johnny and any JTHM characters (Reverent Meat and Squee… and Nny's parents) belong to Jhonen Vasquez. Only I own Madeleine/ Maddie.

Review… your reviews are GOLD; PRICELESS to me. So… if you would… please review. I respect any and all of your opinions, so please, don't be afraid to message me or review what you think of the story.

I love you ALL for the support you give me. Makes me tear up…

"_Damn! Hell makes a yummy bagel."_

_-Johnny the Homicidal Maniac/ Jhonen Vasquez_


	2. Chapter 2

(MADELEINE'S POV)

This was NOT happening. HOW DARE HE, Johnny, suddenly when she needed him the most? She recalled the promise that they made that night…. Several months earlier in her suite at the hotel.

_"Maddie, you vowed to me that we would fix this. Whether it be the 'friendship', the Doughboys, the Wall, self-abuse, or anorexia, you said that we were going to fix this. If we are to be friends, we must act like friends. Friends are there for each other, no matter what the circumstances might be, or what the punishment might inflict upon us. __Fight it."_

She didn't know whether to be furious, or be in complete bliss at the sight of him. It was all so much, so fast, so unexpected, she didn't know what to think. Johnny, the one and only, her ONLY friend that she had ever had, who had left her for her own safety, was here.

She felt her eyes begin to sting from the freezing temperature outside, and angry tears form in her eyes. Although she could have beaten the shit out of Johnny, right then and there, she didn't because she knew better than to set off his fuse; she needed to take advantage of the unknown amount of time she had with him.

Madeleine's lips formed into a thin line as she compared the sudden situation with those SHITTY romance/ soap-operas you found on the TV, where someone is in deep depression, and all of a sudden, their true love shows up at their doorstep in the chill of winter. But the comparison only lasted for a moment, before she tackled him into a hug.

Her skinny arms circled around him, holding him there.

"Damn it, Johnny; I've missed you…," Madeleine whispered as she buried her head in his shoulder. She was so pissed, so angry, and so… FURIOUS at him, but her head acted against her, overwhelming her with happiness, and melting her stomach.

Maddie got a sigh of relief in response, Johnny returning the hug. "I've missed you too. Fuck, I thought you were dead…"

"DEAD? Who in high HELL told you that?" Madeleine pulled away giving Johnny an incredulous look. Her eyes twitched with nervousness and the sudden rush that filled her. She put her arms behind her back, and ruffled up her sleeves, hiding her messy scars that swelled up on her forearms. She clenched her jaw and a deep crease lined her forehead as she dug her nails into her pale, mangled arms.

"Er..," Jonny hesitated, looking Madeleine over in suspicion as the indentations in her head smoothed back to normal, "Mr… Fuck told me. But I bought the lie, thinking that you died of anorexia- speaking of that, have you kept your promise?"

Madeleine's eyes traveled off of Johnny, and she realized it had started snowing again. The little white flurries had caught on Johnny's coat and in the remnants of Johnny's hair- whoah… what the fuck happened to his head, his face? Johnny had a deep gash under his eye, but the blood had stopped flowing, making the crimson liquid freeze and dry to his face.

He had a small bandage over his right eye, hiding another cut on his forehead. His hair… his messy, original hair had seemed as if it was shaved off, except for two locks of hair, which stuck out in front of his face.

Pushing away the odd distraction, she realized that Johnny was shivering from the lack of warmth, and she immediately welcomed him inside. "Sorry, Johnny, please excuse my manners, come in. I apologize for the mess… Make yourself at home, I'll be right back."

* * *

><p>(JOHNNY'S POV)<p>

Stepping up to the door, Johnny shivered at the thought of Madeleine, still being alive after hearing the rumor of her death from one of the despised doughboys. Although they were gone, they were replaced with that plastic burger boy, Reverend Meat…

Ringing the doorbell, Nny waited patiently, and worriedly on the step, getting an angry growl as the door opened to a familiar face, "…times do I have to fucking TELL YOU, I DON'T WANT ANY DAMN-."

Johnny stood still, as his breath caught in his throat. Madeleine wasn't dead…. She was here, alive and breathing, just as he was…

She was wearing a very casual, sleepwear outfit which consisted of a black bathrobe, a black tank top which had 'Merry Freakin' Christmas' in bold, light red and green letters on the front. Her pajama pants were mainly black with black and red polka-dots strewn all over it. Covering her feet were little, festive reindeer slippers with tiny antlers poking out of the top, finishing her look.

Her expression was none other than shocked, but she held no other emotion on her face. Johnny himself, was shocked as well, leaving him speechless, and at loss for words.

It was then when Johnny almost fell to the ground from the crushing force on an embrace. Deciding to hug her back, he thought back to Reverend Meat… and their conversation almost an hour earlier.

"_**There is a disturbing association, in your mind, between feeling and weakness. I concur that it does present a vulnerability… But it means openness! To Pleasures! To Pains! To grievance and rapture! What other creatures know such things! And you would cast it off like an itchy turtleneck? Blasphemy of your species! Your body screams for INPUT!... My goal is to stay alive; to keep you hungry!"**_

_**Johnny's voice cut of the plastic burger boy in response, "Then I'll forget my stomach if I'm hungry! Shut off my want if I'm lonely! Tear off my genitals if I'm aroused! Excess! So much excess! It's so much superfluous nonsense, and I want nothing to do with it if I can help it!... Cluttered up with all it's damaged files and corrupt machinery! Programmed and programmed and programmed and programmed! It's too much!"**_

_**Reverend Meat answered back with sureness in it's voice, "You were born a feeling creature. There is no unlearning of your nature. Therefore… there is no choice!"**_

The memory faded and Johnny heard Madeleine speaking in a voice with genuine happiness… but she was holding something else back along with it…, "Damn it Johnny; I've missed you."

Nny chuckled at the irony. A woman, perfect in her own way, knew that he was a homicidal maniac, yet, she didn't worry about it. She cared for him all the same. "I've missed you too. Fuck, I thought you were dead…" Johnny felt a flip in his stomach, making his skin shiver from the sudden warmth that spread through him.

Madeleine pulled away, giving him another shocked look before asking him why he thought that. Johnny explained in a very brief summary about Mr. Eff who lied about her 'death', and continued on with, "speaking of that, have you kept your promise?" Johnny looked back over Madeleine, now unintentionally shivering from the cold air which was biting at his face, and stinging his eyes.

Immediately, Madeleine apologized for not asking him in earlier, and welcomed him into the apartment; she was avoiding the question…

* * *

><p>(MADELEINE'S POV)<p>

Johnny entered the apartment, looking around in curiosity as his pink face started to restore itself back to its regular color. Madeleine rushed off to the bathroom which was in the hall, next to the couch; she opened up the medicine cabinet, and reached into the shelves.

Taking out a bottle of bactine, several cotton balls, a tube of ointment, and a band-aid before closing the doors, she cursed to herself. Don't get your hopes up to quickly…

Madeleine retreated from the bathroom, spotting Johnny sitting on the couch.

Quite frankly, Madeleine thought it was funny how Johnny's hair was styled now; his two bits of hair falling into his face. Dare she say it? Dare she…? No! No… yes… it was somewhat… maybe… kinda… no not really… yeah… it was cute…

Madeleine took a deep breath before sitting down beside Johnny, who was looking over her drawings on the table. FUCK… NONONONONO…. Please don't let that be the sketchbook that had him in it… Oh holy shit…

"hey Johnny," Madeleine said a little too quick, "er… you have a pretty bad cut on your face," Madeleine pointed to the gash just below Johnny's eye and continued, "I'll clean it up for you so it doesn't get infected."

Johnny looked confused for a moment, but he shook his head, seeming to remember what happened. "Must've been when I slipped. Sure, I guess. Give it a go."

Maddie grabbed a cotton ball and poured a little bit of the bactine into the fluffy ball. Putting the bottle back onto the table, Johnny turned toward her. Hesitating with the wet cotton in her hand, she looked down at her fingers.

"Johnny… tell me. Why… all of a sudden, show up here, expecting me to be happy and joyful? You left me. You were the only thing that kept me stable at the time… several months ago, and you left me." Madeleine looked up and frowned, "so why would you come to see me today? Yeah, I know it's Christmas Eve… but that's no excuse."

"You won't believe me if I told you the truth. You'll think I've gone mental." Johnny mumbled. His face hardened as he thought about the trip to heaven, and being sent to hell, where he wasn't wanted either. So, Senior Satan sent Johnny back to Earth, where he woke up, almost an hour earlier.

Madeleine brought the cotton ball up to his face and sighed, realizing she was overreacting. Johnny only left for the reason to keep her safe. So, she couldn't quarrel with Johnny about that.

"Just summarize what happened, and I promise, I'll try to see what you dealt with… we both have all the time in the world."

Rubbing the cotton over the cut, Maddie managed to clean off the excess blood on his cheekbone. "Well," Johnny cleared his throat before beginning, "Once I stopped hearing Nailbunny, and the doughboys had gotten on my last nerve, along with the rumor that you had died, I had enough. I had successfully killed myself. That thing, that monster from behind the wall, finally escaped, but I never got the chance to see it, or describe what it looked like. All I know is that the doughboys, who were working solely for the wall… thing, and that they were reunited with their 'master'. I, being dead, found heaven."

Madeleine took her hand away from his face and looked at him, "You died? Then how…?"

"I have more. Let me finish before you come to any conclusions."

Madeleine turned around and bent over the armrest of the couch to throw away the used cotton ball before sitting back down on the sofa, grabbing the tube of ointment.

"After meeting God, who actually looks like a lawn gnome, I took a tour of Heaven, and only a tour, seeing that I was not welcome or had the chance of staying there. So, I was sent down to Hell, meeting Satan and all the shit that thrived down there as well. Unfortunately, I had no place there as well, and Satan sent me back to Earth."

Madeleine frowned, fingering the tube of ointment before looking back at Johnny. "Neither had a place for you? Damn, Johnny…," Madeleine said with a stab of pity.

Looking over Johnny's cut, she opened the tube and applied some of the cream to Nny's face.

_Euugh…_

It was so weird, doing these motherly actions for Johnny. It felt… odd… but normal at the same time.

Screwing the cap back onto the tube, she picked up a band-aid and noticed that Johnny had stopped talking. It was just the stereo playing slow Christmas songs…

"So… if you don't mind me asking, what happened to your hair," Maddie added, jokingly.

Johnny looked up at the two locks of hair that stuck out over his forehead, "erm… I either sleep-shaved it off in a dream… or I burned it off in hell. Mr. Satan said my hair would fall out in the process of coming back here. And actually… that was just an hour ago when I woke up."

Madeleine felt the corners of her mouth threaten to tug upward into a smile. Opening the band-aid, she carefully added that onto his face, covering his cut.

"Burned it off?" Madeleine scoffed at the idea, and turned back around to throw the trash away. Getting up, she shrugged off her bathrobe and laid it on the couch before going to the bathroom to return the supplies and rinse off her hands.

Once she finished with cleaning off her hands, she flipped the light off of the bathroom and entered back into the living room, finding Nny, again, looking at her pictures with awe.

Awwh. Fuck.

* * *

><p>(JOHNNY'S POV)<p>

Once Madeleine had gone into the hallway of her apartment to go to her bathroom, Johnny picked up a notebook which was filled with more of her artwork. He flipped through the pages until he found one in particular that caught his eye.

At was detailed so perfectly… shaded and darkened in just the right places… it looked real. It was a picture of him, sleeping in what seemed in an uncomfortable position in a hotel room.

Johnny narrowed his eyes as he gazed at the sketch, unaware that Madeleine had passed him and went to go stand by the counter, back facing him.

"You… drew me." For lack of better words, Johnny was so caught up in each detail that was marked on the white paper.

"Yeah…" Madeleine answered, warily. Johnny looked up to see Madeleine standing over by the window, arms crossed over her chest. "What about it?"

* * *

><p>(MADELEINE'S POV)<p>

The song from the CD had turned to another slow song and Madeleine hummed to the tune of the song, not daring to sing in front of Johnny again. Johnny seeing a picture drawn of him was embarrassing enough.

She held the back of her hand to her lips, supporting her elbow with her other arm that was crossed over her chest. Looking up to the side of the wall, she spotted the clock.

2:48 A.M.

"It's…," Johnny's voice cracked, and he cleared his throat, "it's amazing how you… have the compatibility and capability to draw things like this… it's amazing."

Madeleine bit her lip before turning around, fighting the gurgle in her stomach. Eying the cookies on the table she slowly walked to the temptation and grabbed a tree-shaped cookie with green icing on top.

"Uh huh… I practice a lot." Madeleine bit into her cookie, trying to enjoy the sugary flavor that invaded her mouth. But her stomach did not agree with the sweetness, and tried to rid her of the cookie in her mouth.

Resisting the urge to heave, Madeleine swallowed and grabbed a napkin from the counter, setting the cookie down.

Johnny saw this, however, and added curiously, "you never answered my question earlier… have you kept your promise?"

* * *

><p>(AUTHOR'S NOTE)<p>

Ahhh.. long chappie. I've been writing on this for the last few hours…

Aaaand… I'm sorry if Johnny gets WAY TOO OOC in this story. I'm really sorry… but I can't help myself. I'm a sucker for sappy, friendship/ romance Christmas stories…. :D

But I'll try my best to keep him as original as I can…(which is highly unlikely; GRRR! I'm giving up on the enhanced vocabulary. It's HARD trying to write from Johnny's POV like that….. Jhonen Vasquez is WAY to advanced for me to write like that…)

I'm not promising any romance, but there is a high chance that it will come up.

Review… review please… I need reviews… reviews are my reason to CONTINUE WITH THE STORY! Aghh! I wanted SO BADLY to add some lyrics… but I restrained myself enough not to… so, lucky you.

(I write a LOT. And when I say a LOT, I mean the majority of my day is spent at my laptop, typing away at this story; so be sure to look for any updates. BUT… I will be going on vacation quite soon. I will STILL write, but It will be hard, trying to update the story for any readers…)

Disclaimer: Jhonen Vasquez owns Reverend Meat, the doughboys, the Wall monster thing, and Johnny C.

I own Madeleine. (bwahahaha yes, Madeleine is ME as my OC in the story…)

The **bold**/_ italicized _are real quotes from a JTHM issue. It does NOT by any means, belong to me.

"_Oh…Ohhh…if you would…please… excuse me. You know that feeling you get? The one where you just know you're going to projectile vomit out of every orifice? I feel that right now. I want you away. Leave me to my vomit."_

-Johnny the Homicidal Maniac/ Jhonen Vasquez


	3. Chapter 3

(Author's Note) Beware: you got SONG LYRICS in this one… (I suggest you listen to a song called: The Christmas Song by Owl City as you read this...)

* * *

><p>(MADELEINE'S POV)<p>

Madeleine's face frowned as she looked out the window, furious. How COULD HE? Whipping around, she faced him, livid, "How can you expect me to keep a promise if you can't keep yours," Madeleine hissed with tears adding in her eyes, "Johnny you said, you PROMISED that you would be there for me. You PROMISED that you wouldn't leave, no matter what the case was; but you broke it anyway. And to answer your question, NO, I did NOT keep your damn promise. Now… If you would, excuse me."

Hurrying out of the room, Madeleine ran back to the bathroom, closing the door and heaving into the toilet, purging out what all she had just eaten.

* * *

><p>(JOHNNY'S POV)<p>

Madeleine left the room, her face filled with irritation and sickness.

The girl was right. He hadn't kept his vow as a friend. He had come here, expecting warm hugs and laughs from a friend in which he betrayed. He showed up, on the doorstep of Madeleine's apartment, expecting that everything would return back to the way things were. He awoke from the trips to both Heaven and Hell, expecting to be in charge, and in control of his own reality, when, in sickening truth, he learned that he would always be held hostage; he would always be a slave.

This was the reason why Johnny never allowed himself the pleasure of friendship or the possibility of something more. Somehow, Johnny always fucked things up.

Gathering himself off of the couch, he heard the sound Madeleine moaning and vomiting into the toilet. Grimacing from the sound, Johnny paced around the room, immersed in deep thought.

* * *

><p>(MADELEINE'S POV)<p>

Her throat burned as she flushed the toilet.

_Now, didn't that feel good; push out the need. Purge out the poision…_

Getting up from her knees, Maddie walked over to the sink and rinsed her mouth out with water and mouthwash along with brushing her teeth and tongue to get rid of the sickening taste that infiltrated her mouth. Once all of it was said and done, she left the bathroom, mentally cursing herself for lashing out to Johnny. She felt even worse, finding the living room empty with no trace of Johnny anywhere. Grabbing her fleece bathrobe, she quickly tugged it on and opened her door. Walking onto the porch, she looked outside; a fluffy sea of white crystals falling down on her.

Looking at the ground, her eyebrow rose in suspicion as she only saw one set of tracks in the snow that led to her apartment. Whipping around, she glanced to see if anyone was behind her or watching her, but it was only Maddie, standing there dumbfounded in the snow.

Trudging back into the apartment, Madeleine looked around, "Nny? Johnny?"

Getting no response, she went over to her cookie sitting on the counter, near the window and picked it up, ready to throw it in the trash. But she stopped, seeing that at her window, was a set of tracks leading away from her.

Placing her cookie down, she opened the window, following a blast of chilly winter air blowing in her face. Popping her head out the window, Madeleine's eyes followed the tracks until she found a black speck moving farther and farther away from the apartment.

_Bitch… see, this is why you never had friends. Always looking at the cup half-empty; always reminding people of how shitty they are…You Pessimistic ass… _

Taking her head inside, she closed the window and sighed, ignoring her mental rant.

Looking over to the counter, Madeleine took the cookie and chucked it into the trash which hid in the cabinets of her granite counter.

Another roll of hunger cried out from her abdomen, making Madeleine clench her teeth in pain. Breathing, in and out, Maddie steadied herself as she slowly made her way to the couch.

_The hunger always wins…_

* * *

><p>(JOHNNY'S POV)<p>

It was about fifteen minutes later when he had finally found the 24/7 (convenience store). It was the same store in which he had murdered an innocent clerk whom would not turn on the brain-freezy machine, and a small wave of nostalgia pushed through Johnny as he entered the store. Thankful that convenience stores were open at 3:00 A.M. on Christmas, Johnny's nerves had settled down some.

Weaving through the small isles, Johnny picked out his usual junk-food choice: Senior Salsa Chips(They Make You Pee Fire!), and two bottles of Cherry Fizz-Whiz. Taking it back to the counter, he dropped off his things before going back and looking for two more items.

Seeing that Madeleine did clearly not approve of Johnny leaving her for her safety, he decided to make it up to her. Although he didn't care much for other people and their personal needs, he forced himself to care anyhow, seeing that he was now responsible to brighten Maddie's mood, and strengthen the friendship they once had.

Standing in front of the refrigerated section, Johnny scanned the soda and flavored waters until he found a bottle of ginger ale. Not knowing exactly what to get, since he had never dealt with anorexia or the process of recovery from it, Johnny just decided to go with his gut. Besides, wasn't it ginger ale that helped stomach aches and pains?

After picking out the bottle, Johnny headed over to the corner of the store, finding soup. (Author's Note: Yeah, they sell soup there; so what? It's a CONVENIENCE store…)

Choosing a small can of Chicken Noodle Soup, Nny headed back to the register and paid for the specified items, gathering it all up in a plastic bag. The man behind the counter mumbled out, "Have a Christmas Eve sir…"

Exiting the store, Johnny noticed that the snow had stopped falling, but the sky outside was still a dark, murky grey that covered the moon. Johnny missed the stars; yes, the open vastness of the sky was quite unsettling, but the stars that dotted the endlessness above him had an unmistakable beauty to it.

The wind nipped at Nny's face as he headed back to Madeleine's apartment. The silence was enjoyable and Nny thought back to Nailbunny… No, he wasn't gone, he was there when he fought with Reverend Meat, but it seemed as if Bunny hadn't acted against him, telling Johnny to stop.

Johnny mulled over this until he came to a stop at Maddie's window. It was a natural thing for Johnny to just creep in from a window or tunnel, so Johnny didn't worry. Looking in, he saw Madeleine sleeping peacefully on her couch. Perfect.

Thankful that the window wasn't locked, Johnny pulled the window open and crawled inside quietly, before pulling the wooden frame back down.

Walking over to the granite counter, Johnny set his bag down and looked back to find Maddie, lightly snoring, deep in the clutches of sleep. Turning back around, Johnny took out the can of soup, and looked in Madeleine's wooden cabinets that hung over the counter until he finally found her stash of dishes.

Pulling out a plastic, tupperware bowl Johnny laid it out on the counter, filling it up with the soup and adding a little water before sticking it in the microwave.

Leaving his Senior Salsa Chips on the counter, Johnny took his extra bottle of Fizz-Whiz and placed it in the fridge before taking his other bottle and unscrewing the cap.

_**Mmm… cherry Fizz-Whiz… I smile…**_

After taking a sip of the cherry soda, Nny put it back onto the counter and screwed the cap back on before leaning on the counter, waiting for the soup to finish.

(3 Minutes Later)

After the soup was done, Johnny took the warm bowl and headed over to Madeleine, placing the dish beside her on the table. Johnny looked at the noodles in the bowl, contemplating on whether or not to wake her.

His eyes moved to Maddie, narrowing his eyes in thought; Madeleine hadn't changed much since he had left. Her face had filled out just slightly, along with her thin body, giving her a more womanly figure. No, Johnny never pondered on body parts; the mere thought of such repugnance… he could never allow himself that. Never.

Her face, however, had changed somewhat, returning her sunken eyes back to normal, and her cheekbones less sharp against her skin. Her skin was still the same, sickening white, and her abdomen had not changed in any way, showing that she truly wasn't keeping up with her nutrition or sudden growth.

Could he, have possibly, been a benefactor to her anorexia; the pressure?

The mixed CD had started over again, replaying the first song. Johnny knew that Madeleine wasn't the kind of girl to listen to a lot of pop and hip-hop music, but this song was an exception.

It's soft melody started to play, and Johnny bobbed his head to the rhythm, listening to the lyrics; the meaning of the song making Johnny 's face flush as he thought of the one specific verse that played as he watched Madeleine sleep peacefully on the sofa…

_Its Christmas_  
><em>And we walk alone<em>  
><em>Two strangers with no one to miss us<em>  
><em>On our own<em>

Johnny picked up a sketchbook off of the table, just as Madeleine stirred from her position on the sofa.

* * *

><p>(MADELEINE'S POV)<p>

The smell of salt and chicken wafted through the air, making Madeleine pry her eyes open. Looking over to her side tiredly, she spotted a bowl of chicken noodle soup laid out on the table before her. Behind the table sat Johnny, looking at a sketch in her book and over on her countertop farther off- WHAT?

"HOLY FUCK!"

Madeleine's eyes shot open as she pushed herself up on the sofa, a completely shocked and surprised look on her face.

"Johnny, don't SCARE me like that… please," Madeleine took another few breaths to settle down her increased heartbeat before continuing, "when- how did you get in?"

Johnny glanced up from the pictures and through his two pieces of hair before answering with a victorious smile, "the window," Johnny wiped away the smirk though, realizing the seriousness in Madeleine's face. "I came in just a few minutes ago; you didn't seem like you were feeling well, so I got you a few things." Johnny nodded toward the steaming bowl of soup and added, "there's some ginger ale in the fridge. I didn't know if you like it or not… but I got it anyhow."

Madeleine plopped back down into the pillows, eyes narrowed at Johnny who looked worrisome. "You were right about me abandoning you like that… it was unfair and unjust; so I had to make it up to you somehow. Now if you would... I would like to go back to keeping the promise; your soup's getting cold." Johnny pointed a slender finger toward the bowl before returning back to the sketchbook.

The song on the stereo continued and Madeleine noticed the lyrics playing. Glancing over to Johnny, she noticed a rosy tint added to his face as he looked down, bobbing his head to the song and mouthing his lips to the lyrics.

_You and I met passing by_  
><em>And now our spirits feel warm<em>  
><em>I dont have anyone at home to talk to<em>  
><em>And you dont have anything to do<em>  
><em>So I'll spend my Christmas with you<em>  
><em>I'll spend my Christmas with you<em>

* * *

><p>(Author's Note)<p>

Choppy chapter. I know… agh..

Hehe, looks like you guys got to enjoy a chappie with song lyrics in it! The song ONLY belongs to the owner, Owl City. (I'm not really a fan of them, but I LOVE their Christmas songs… I love them) Song: The Christmas Song

Hoped you liked the chapter… fun with Johnny AWAITS!

(Don't question why I'm writing a Christmas story in the summer… I just LIKE winter themes… and it fit with the storyline when Johnny left for 5 months…)

Yay… now we're getting somewhere with the friendship/ romance plot in the story!

So… It's Christmas Eve… What do homicidal maniac's do for the holidays?

You will find out… SOON! :D

(Remember, I'm not Jhonen Vasquez, so I don't have the amazing dialogue and vocabulary that he wields… don't expect perfection in this story…)

Review; review for your LIVES. One simple review makes me cry with happiness. I almost died when I woke up, finding two more reviews, they make me THAT happy.

So… shall I continue on?

Disclaimer: Johnny, Reverend Meat, and Nailbunny belong to Jhonen Vasquez. Not me. Only I own Madeleine, (you should know by now that Madeleine is me, as the OC in the story.)

(HOORAY FOR JOHNNY'S OOC-NESS!)

"_Dear Die-ary,_

_Today I stuffed some dolls full of dead rats I put in the blender. I'm wondering if maybe, there really is something wrong with me."_

_Johnny the Homicidal Maniac / Jhonen Vasquez_


	4. Chapter 4

(JOHNNY'S POV)

It was an hour later when Madeleine had completely finished her soup, but only moments after, she fell back into a tired, dreamless sleep. Johnny couldn't blame her, for she had, for the most part, been projectile vomiting for the last few hours, leaving her completely fatigued and worn. So, Johnny let her sleep, and Johnny decided to spend some time for himself.

Naturally, Johnny left through the window and pondered on the thoughts that came to mind while cold wind lashed out at his face, numbing his skin.

Johnny truly didn't want the emotions he felt when he was around Madeleine. Just nonsense; excess waste that Johnny needed to cast off. But remembering Reverend Meat, and how he said that there was no unlearning of his nature, Johnny just had to thrive, being open to emotion.

So much that he could easily cast off… if only he could live like any other human.

Entering Café le Prick, which was, surprisingly, open at early hours such as this, Johnny slowly walked up to the counter, eyes fixed on the menu hanging above the cashier. The café had been redecorated due to the horrid mess that Johnny had done with his own hands the previous time he had been there. The walls were painted a light, mocha color with various painting and designs hanging on them. The booths were just plain, red booths with wooden backs to them, and the counter held several bar seats; alcoholic bottles hanging over them, while some wine was stashed behind the counter. A few tables closed the open space, finishing off the room with silver, metal chairs which sat upon grey tiles.

Pulling out his wallet, he took out a $10 dollar bill, ordering two wheat bagels to-go. While the cashier picked out the specific foods from the glass show-case, Johnny looked around to find a drunken man, slouching over the counter, glaring at Johnny.

The stranger snorted with dislike, "hm…skinny-ass fag…," before taking a sip of his beer and turning around, looking for something else to insult. Of course, being drunk made him a little tipsy, but that was NO excuse to judge Johnny like that…

* * *

><p>(MADELEINE'S POV)<p>

Uncomfortable that Maddie had slept, but happy enough that her stomach was feeling better, Madeleine hauled herself up from the couch, and walked to her bedroom where her closet doors held a change of clothes.

Johnny had left, meaning that she had bought some time alone. Rummaging through her closet, she pulled out a pair of grey jeans. Closing the doors to that, she went to her dresser and picked out some undergarments and a green, long-sleeved t-shirt, letting herself somewhat celebrate for the holidays.

After gathering her ball of clothes, she left her bedroom and shuffled to her bathroom, where she then, locked her door and set her clothes onto the small, marble side counter. Plugging the drain, Maddie turned the water temperature to hot, and soon the room filled with fog.

Undressing herself, she kicked her clothes over to the wall before crawling into the tub which was half-way filled with burning water. Madeleine, however, found the temperature to be luke-warm, and turned off the faucet, trying to warm herself in the water. Hugging her knees to her chest, she laid her head down, looking at the wall, trying to find patterns in the marble.

Her stomach clenched in painful memory as she recalled when Johnny had left her, alone in the hotel room. She had confessed to him how she felt about him, but Nny had… in some odd way, yet she wasn't even sure if it was considered, turned down.

She repaired herself as the days passed by, turning into weeks, which slowly, but surely, formed into months. Madeleine had gotten a new job, instead of working at the local grocery store, helping her salary and allowing her to move into an apartment. Becoming an artist was a rather hard job, but she did it anyway, liking the way the system had worked, allowing herself to work from her own home.

She was assigned a task, and was expected to complete it in several hours/days/ months/etc, but she didn't have to work in a specified area in a building or company; she could work within the comfort of her own apartment. But she was getting off topic.

Johnny was here; apparently he had died, and resurrected. Nny mentioned about the Wall Monster taking back the doughboys and how they weren't there, controlling his mind or actions any more… but there had to be something more… there had to be…

Finally having enough of the soaking, Madeleine pulled the plug from the drain and waited until most of the water had drained before starting the shower to clean her hair.

Once that was all said and done, Maddie took a white towel which hung on the rail beside the shower, and dried herself off after stepping onto the teal colored rug beneath her.

Once her body was mostly dry, she put on her black undergarments before tugging on her jeans. Unlocking her door, she headed out into the hall, squirming into the long-sleeved shirt as she passed the opening to the Living room, which held a baffled looking Johnny whom was entering from the window. Not noticing him, Madeleine just continued on to her room, bumping into the door of her bedroom because her head was still stuck in her forest green, thermal shirt.

Un-tucking her hair from the collar of her shirt, Madeleine looked over to her dresser and opened a drawer, finding a stash of studded belts, arm warmers, chains and fingerless gloves; it was her stash of her most precious accessories and jewelry.

Adding a studded belt and a pair of red ornament earrings to her look, she retreated back to her bathroom where she brushed her hair and teeth; mm… minty toothpaste…

Narrowing her eyes, Madeleine checked her appearance in the mirror before applying some eyeliner and mascara to her eyes. Simple; not too, in your face, I'M GOTH look, but it stated that she wasn't the regular woman you would pass by on the streets.

Satisfied somewhat with her appearance, Madeleine walked into her room and found Johnny sitting at the small Christmas tree in the corner of the room. Her hand twitched as she walked over to him, suspicion picking at her tongue. "Johnny…..when did you get in?"

* * *

><p>(JOHNNY'S POV)<p>

Carrying the plastic bag with the bagels back to the apartment, Johnny's eye twitched with dislike. It had been a while since he had spilled someone's intestines out onto the floor of a restaurant, but the reason he had to eliminate the drunken man was unfortunate. Why did people always assume that they could judge innocent, alienated people such as him…?

Shaking his head with disapproval Johnny trudged his way through the snow; Maddie's apartment growing closer. Small, delicate snowflakes began to fall once again as Johnny drew near the window. His numb fingers picked at the wooden edge before he could finally open it, allowing himself in. About halfway inside the house, he heard Madeleine's footsteps through the hall. Looking up, he caught sight of her chest and her dangerously thin torso.

Looking away immediately, Johnny continued to make his way inside the house, realizing Madeleine was unaware of Johnny's presence. Quickly, Johnny shut the window and set the bagels onto the counter before his eyes wandered to the tiny Christmas tree which glittered in the corner of the room, opposite of him.

Although it was a cute little tree, Johnny's mind pondered on how sickly thin Madeleine's mid-section was… the bones of her rib cage pushing out against her pale skin…

No, Johnny paid no attention of anything higher than the torso, knowing full well that Johnny hadn't accepted the idea of lust. Being the (somewhat) responsible adult that he was, he didn't particularly care for the revolting emotion such as that… yes, love was questionable, but lust was out of the question.

Setting himself down onto the floor, looking at the tree and the tiny red ornaments that decorated the branches, Johnny tried to ignore the footsteps that sounded behind him. "Johnny… when did you get in?"

Johnny kept his face straight as he tried not to think of her sickly thin torso. "About a minute ago," Johnny answered truthfully and innocently. He kept his head bowed, eyes fixed on the design of the ornaments and restraining his eyes from moving elsewhere.

"Erm… you didn't….," Madeleine lightly groaned, hesitating with her question, "you didn't see anything… did you?"

Understanding the question, Johnny's lips formed a thin line as he turned his head to the side, looking at the floor near Maddie's slender feet.

"Unfortunately, yes… I did," Johnny took his head back to the tree, sniffing from the exposure of the wintery weather that blew outside of the house, "but I do not particularly care for… specific body features. The mere thought of desire such as that…. Is revolting."

Getting up, Johnny clenched his fists, popping his knuckles in unison. Looking over to Madeleine he added, "if you are no longer nauseous, I got bagels… I suggest you eat something."

Johnny steadily walked toward the counter, shaking his head as he pushed out the image of Madeleine's torso from his mind. Opening the bag on the counter, Johnny picked out his bagel and his serious expression softened as he took the other to Madeleine who went over to the stereo, whom was shrugging on her bathrobe. Flipping on the radio, she changed to a clear station; the news was on.

Was she really that cold? It possibly had something to do with her sickness….

"…-afe le Prick with a man who was brutally murdered. Police searched the crime scene, stating the damage. "Intestines and innards spilled out of the man from a large cut from his abdomen. Several cuts were traced on his jawbone and his eyes were gouged out with plastic, butter knives." If you have any news to report about this sickening, wacky murder, please report to this station or the police as soon as you can. Onto the weather with Hellen Y-"

Johnny's face contorted into an expression of disgust as the word he despised the most… was stated about the murder.

Madeleine looked to Johnny as she took her hand away from the radio, biting her lips as the corners of her mouth tugged up into a smirk, "and his eyes were gouged out with plastic, butter knives!" Madeleine repeated, mimicking the sound of the reporter with a scoff.

"Nicely done… but… why was it necessary?"

* * *

><p>(AUTHOR'S NOTE)<p>

Heh… I don't know what to say about this chapter… but what I do know, is that Johnny isn't a perv.

I'm keeping Johnny's originality up by making him kill people, so I hope you don't mind…

Bagels… They'll never be as good as the ones down in Hell….(reference from JTHM 6th Issue!)

Kind of an awkward chapter…. But you'll get your cute little bit of the story soon. Patience is key.

You are lucky for no lyrics… I might add some on the next chapter, depending on how I feel. But any and all lyrics belong to their respected owners/ music artists… which leads me to the disclaimer.

Johnny and all JTHM characters belong to Jhonen Vasquez (along with Café Le Prick)

I, however, own Madeleine/ Maddie. (duuh, Madeleine is ME as the OC in the story… you should be picking up on it by now…)

Review; reviews will help me perfect the story line for you readers out there… so, review! :D The reviews are also very heartwarming to me, knowing that you take the time to write your opinions down! I take any opinions about the story, and by all means, if you wish, review several times!

"_WHERE THE FUCK IS THE BACTINE?"_

_-Johnny the Homicidal Maniac/ Jhonen Vasquez_


	5. Chapter 5

(AUTHOR'S NOTE:) I'm changing Madeleine and Johnny's age a little bit… to be a tad bit more original… Madeleine: 20 Johnny: 21 (remember, I'm not Jhonen, so I can't give you the enhanced dialogue that Johnny usually has) BACK TO THE STORY!

* * *

><p>(MADELEINE'S POV)<p>

It somewhat assured Madeleine, knowing that Johnny was still his same old self, but it also worried her, knowing that Johnny shouldn't have to deal with the murders. Whatever happened to the Wall thing after he 'died'? Couldn't he have stopped painting the wall?

Adding with her question, "what ever happened to the… thing behind the wall after you died? Did it leave, or go back into the walls, did it…?"

Maddie turned down the volume on the stereo, listening intently for Johnny's answer. "Frankly, I don't know what happened. I don't remember seeing anything except for blurry images… there were tentacles… and teeth, I think, but I don't remember anything else about it. But I haven't heard it… the nails on the wood. The noise is gone, so I'm convinced it's gone. And the man from the café… needed to be exterminated. Just another rotting imbecile in the society…"

Johnny stepped toward Madeleine, holding out a skeletal hand which grasped a bagel. Taking it from Nny, her own fingers brushed against his, sending unnoticed goosebumps to crawl up her thin arms. No matter what she did, or how she might have touched him, it always made her stomach twist into a knot or gave her uncomfortable, awkward changes to her skin, whether it be a blush or goosebumps, it didn't matter.

Even after the length of time they spent away from each other, when Madeleine felt so low, so absolutely alone, when she thought of the moment that she had first met Johnny, it always sent a shiver up her spine, following a blush or some other unintentional action.

Fingering the smooth surface of the bread in one hand, she switched it to another station, getting more Christmas carols and festive reminders that it was Christmas Eve. Avoiding Johnny's face, she went back over to the kitchen counter, setting her food down on a paper towel before going to her fridge and picking out the bottle of ginger ale that Johnny had mentioned he had bought earlier. Setting it on the counter, Madeleine picked out a small cup from one of the cabinets from above and looked back to Johnny who was looking out the window and out to the beautiful, snowy landscape outside.

"Thanks, Johnny… for coming back. And thank you for, pretty much, everything. And Nny… please, do try to restrain yourself when it comes to situations where you come across an asshole. It IS Christmas Eve… and if he had a family… if he had children… they would be… without a father for Christmas. I'm not saying what you did was totally wrong; I'm saying you could have dealt in a better way."

After she poured about a quarter of a cup of ginger ale into the glass, she put the bottle back into the refrigerator, grabbed her bagel and headed to her fluffy sofa.

_Eat it… inhale the poison… let it control you… fill you up; taste the bread and swallow the needles that stab your tongue._

* * *

><p>(JOHNNY'S POV)<p>

Johnny thought back to Squee as Madeleine mentioned the life of a family. Smirking, Johnny recalled when he knocked out Todd's depressive, ignorant father with one of Squee-gee's toy robots, leaving him permanently blind. But Maddie was already heading back to the sofa, placing her things on the table; a troubled look spread on her face.

Moving on to another topic, Johnny asked with curiosity, "so… you're an artist. You sketch; is that your lifetime career now?" Nny watched Madeleine as she tore off a tiny piece of her breakfast, and put it in her mouth. It took her a minute to answer, seeing that she hadn't chewed or swallowed; her eyes betraying her and shining with worry.

After several moments of silence, the radio's music filling the air between them, Maddie finally answered, "yeah. But I work from home; I don't have an official office or anything special, so I just work here. One or two notebooks I have are reserved for business, while most of the others I use, because I have the urge to sketch." Madeleine swallowed and set the bagel down before tearing off another piece and continuing, "Drawing gets my mind off of things; it allows me what freedom I have by releasing what I think or feel though a picture. Hey, speaking of, have you continued on with the Happy Noodle Boy comics? I never got the chance to read one."

The light from the window was slightly lighter than it was before, stating that dawn was approaching. There was still cloud cover, and it was still snowing, but it lit up the clouds, brightening the sky a little.

"Actually, I made a film script for Happy Noodle Boy. It hasn't really been progressed into anything though, and the chances of my comics becoming a movie are highly unlikely." Johnny went over to the table before kneeling down to sit on the floor.

"Nny, you don't have to sit on the floor. There's plenty of room for two people on here," Madeleine gestured to the sofa she sat upon and scooted over to the side. Accepting the offer, Johnny got up once again, and sat beside her, already halfway done with his own bagel.

The sun was rising higher now, lighting up the clouds and brightening up the room. "Johnny… this is completely off topic… but you mentioned someone or… something called, 'Nailbunny'… what is that?"

Johnny's expression softened as the thought of Nailbunny came into his mind. Bunny was still with him… but without the body nailed to the wall or it's severed head floating beside him. Johnny's mind wandered back to the memory, the talk that he had with Bunny about sanity; about what it was like to be alone and unhappy.

Nny felt melancholy at the memory… it was so vivid; so clear. He remembered the soft tears that slid down his face, stating his emotion, "I'm not happy."

Eyes downcast, Johnny answered in a calm voice, "Nailbunny… Nailbunny or, Bunny; I bought him when I was around 18-19 years of age. He was probably the cutest, fluffiest thing you would ever see. I took him home from the Pet Shop, fed him once, and nailed him to a wall in my house. But he… talked to me psychologically. I, however, being completely insane and delusional, took in the image of a severed rabbit head that hovered along beside me. Basically, he's my conscience, and he taught me something."

Johnny set down his bagel and put his hands politely in his lap, bowing his head as he thought back to the memory with Nailbunny.

"_**We all assign a voice to the aspects of ourselves… **_and I believe that Nailbunny was one of them. Nailbunny informed me further of what he was to me; _**'you're basically having a conversation with yourself. Who would ever suspect that they were no longer the mind behind the other end of their internal conversation?"**_

"Interesting…," Madeleine whispered. Looking over to her, he saw her eyes glazed over, immersed in deep thought. Peeling his eyes off of her, Johnny ripped off another piece of the doughy substance before him, "it was the same for the doughboys… and Reverend Meat… but the doughboys were slightly different… you saw them moving around on their own, I know you did…. Does that answer your question?"

* * *

><p>(MADELEINE'S POV)<p>

Madeleine just nodded her head, stifling a yawn and glancing back to Johnny who was entertaining himself with the soft bread in his fingers.

_Shove the rest down your throat, tear apart your innards and indulge in the sting of tears falling down onto your decaying flesh. The stranger lies…_

Treating the voice as noise, Madeleine put the remains of her bagel onto the table, uncomfortably full. She needed out of the house. She couldn't hold off the voice for long… the air was getting stuffy; she needed some fun.

She tugged at her dry, jet black hair, thinking of what she could possibly do to get her mind off of the current issues that probed at her every nerve.

Her ears picked up the soft melody of a woman, singing about leaving, escaping by skating away on a river…

Yeah… she knew how to skate; it was fun, active… and it might get her mind off of everything. "Say… Johnny, you don't by any chances know how to ice skate, do you?"

_No fun; no fun for you-_

Johnny looked over to her, eyes narrowed in suspicion, "no… I went roller skating when I was a kid, but not ice skating. Why?"

"Let's go ice-skating."

Johnny's eyes widened and he shifted in his seat, looking down.

"I don't usually like the idea of sliding on an unstable surface. If we skated on a river or lake… ehhhh. Sounds reckless."

Madeleine nudged Johnny softly with her elbow and added, "life isn't worth living if you don't take the risk; recklessness is just another word for FUN. C'mon, I'll get you some shoes and we can go skating today; you'll ENJOY IT! And besides, it's been snowing for several days, and the news said that the lake nearby was almost completely frozen; I wouldn't worry."

Johnny was hesitant at this offer, a worrisome look crawling onto his face. "It'll be my Christmas gift to you. Once we both get the hang of skating, we could do it more often."

Finally, Johnny cracked, giving in, "fine. When do we go?"

Ignoring the fact that Johnny was not a 'touchy-feely' person, Madeleine gave Nny a quick hug before letting him go and getting up from her spot on the couch, "I was thinking that we could leave somewhere around two or three in the afternoon. It gives us time to maneuver the schedule if we need to go anywhere or do anything beforehand."

Madeleine put on a half smile, standing from the other side of the table, looking at Johnny's bagel, or, what was left of it. "You done?"

Johnny nodded, and scooped up the bagel bits into the napkin in which it sat on, and sealed it off before passing it to Maddie who then took it to the trash can under the sink. Closing the wooden doors, she washed her hands in the sink, thankful that the pipes weren't frozen over.

But hiding under Madeleine's victorious smile, was the ringing of Johnny's words, squirming and scraping inside of her eardrums.

"_We all assign a voice to the aspects of ourselves… you're basically having a conversation with yourself. Who would ever suspect that they were no longer the mind behind the other end of their internal conversation?"_

* * *

><p>(AUTHOR'S NOTE)<p>

Here's another chapter for you! Looks like Johnny is gonna have some fun trying to skate. Gotta love the fluffy idea of Maddie and Johnny skating… ^_^

Johnny tells Maddie about Nailbunny, reminding Madeleine of her own internal voice that thrives beneath her very own skin.

These are more, filler chapters about what is to come; PATIENCE! And… I don't know where to go on from here. I think I'm heading into unexpected lovey chapters… which is gonna make Johnny OOC…

Message Me whether you want a romance plot in the story; I might go with my gut instinct, but I need your opinion. And with that note: REVIEW! I love any and all opinions on the story line, and I need to know how my writing technique is to the public readers! Review…

"I find this anger in me revolting because it is the residue THEY LEAVE inside of me – the filthy seed that remains after they've raped my mind – and I love it, because it is what allows me to see, more clearly into what I can never allow myself to degenerate into." – Johnny C. (Dear Die-ary)


	6. Chapter 6

_**(Flashback to one year earlier)**_

(Man's POV/ JOHNNY'S POV)

It was a beautiful, spring evening and the sky was a cloudless shimmer of stars, swimming in the vast openness above. Wandering through the streets was a lonesome, skinny man, looking through the city in hope for someone; something.

(Woman's POV/ MADELEINE'S POV)

A young woman, dragging her suitcase from a small, yellow taxi, waved to the driver before the car pulled off, leaving a trail of smoke behind as it retreated into the darkness. Turning back around, she adjusted another bag on her shoulder and headed to the hotel, glancing at any strangers passing by.

Looking to her left, she spotted a worried, anxious man; he looked as if he was going to break down into tears, so she decided to give him a heartfelt smile before continuing on towards the hotel before her.

But, her wish to take shelter at the hotel didn't come, for she was quickly tackled down and became slightly unconscious.

* * *

><p>(30 Minutes later)<p>

(MADELEINE'S POV)

Opening her eyes, Madeleine moaned with discomfort, realizing she was hanging upside down in chains with all sorts of spinning blades hovering over the chain that kept her suspended. Looking around the dark chambers, she noticed several piles of decayed bodies in the corner of the room; most likely the reason why the room smelled so pungent with rot. Off in one of the other corners stood a man who was in his early twenties, hiding behind the veil of shadow.

"Hey… ," Maddie's voice wavered as she looked hopefully to the man, who was coming up to her.

Getting a better view of the man, she tried to keep herself from crying at his appearance.

The man was dangerously skinny, almost as skinny as she was. He wore a dark combination of dark purple and black attire; a long sleeved purple and black horizontal striped shirt with skinny black jeans. A large pair of bulky, steel-toed boots covered his feet and sitting on his head was un-kept, greasy, jet black hair that hung in his face. His pale skin stood out in the somewhat dark room. But that didn't keep her from seeing his face.

A depressed, empty look was smeared on his face as invisible tears hid behind his dark, deep set eyes. Large, black circles, probably from lack of sleep, surrounded his eyes while a small frown drew his mouth.

Madeleine recognized him at once, realizing that he was the man she saw in front of the hotel. But what did she have anything to do with him? All she did was smile at him; nothing more. So, why the fuck was she hanging in what seemed like torture chambers with weapons angled at her from above?

"Wait… ugh…," Maddie moaned with discomfort as the blood rushed to her head, pounding heavily in her ears, "I've seen you before; what's your name?"

Taking things smoothly, Madeleine tried not to focus on the increasing sound of blood roaring in her head and the fact that she was hanging in a defenseless position. If this was the man who captured her because she smiled at him, maybe she could just as easily break through him, and maybe get herself down.

"Johnny, Johnny C, but I go by Nny for short."

Madeleine took in a deep breath, so as to breathe better and relieve herself from the increasing pain in her head, "like…. Knee cap?" Johnny nodded his head, walking up closer to her and sitting down, placing a thin blade in his lap. Looking eyelevel to her know, Johnny looked her in the eye, waiting for another question.

"Fuck… nnnghh… interesting name, Nny," Madeleine grit her teeth, her face numb now from pressure and an increasing headache, "would you mind… telling me where I am, and… why I'm here?"

Johnny pursed his lips, narrowing his eyes at the woman before answering, "thank you, I appreciate your opinion. Would you mind informing me of your name before we start?"

Madeleine's eyes softened somewhat as she looked over Johnny who was staring intently at her, "Madeleine."

Johnny bent himself forward into a comfortable position before starting, "Nice name. Now, right now, you are being held hostage in one of the rooms in my house. We are, however, underground, so if you are planning for an escape, I suggest you stop continuing to do so. I am keeping you here for several reasons, mostly because my last few plans have failed in the process; I am SURE THIS TIME. Fucking Wall… I'm tired of the doughboys, Nailbunny is gone… I'm tired of all of this, and it seems as if suicide is the only possible cure."

"Suicide? Johnny, er, Nny, killing yourself isn't the answer. What reason could you possibly have to take your own life?"

The man before her widened his eyes and spoke with a tiresome voice, "I have reasons that you couldn't possibly comprehend. How should I believe I can trust to tell you these things? What makes you any different from the others?" Johnny crawled up to her, inches from her face, holding the blade to her pale, exposed neck. "You couldn't possibly understand the conflicts I've fought in the past…"

Madeleine looked to Johnny, fearful, but sympathetic. "You kill me, you won't solve anything; if you lower the knife, I can help you without you killing me yourself…. Hey… why am I here if you we're planning to commit suicide?"

Johnny lowered the knife little by little before dropping it to the ground and watching her warily, **"I don't want to die like I've lived. I want a companion in the act…"**

Madeleine's hands were bound, hanging from her head, and she brushed away a lock of hair from her face before she answered in a steady voice, "suicide does nothing. I, myself, …. Why the fuck am I telling you this….," Madeleine frowned before continuing on, "I have, too, tried several attempts. After being saved from myself, countless times, I found that death solves nothing; it gave me no answers. Let me help you Johnny."

Nny watched Madeleine, an intrigued look spread on his face as he cupped his chin in his hand. It took him several moments to reply, seeing that he was considering the idea of explaining to her what all had happened and what was to happen.

"You know that emptiness that you feel? That jittery feeling when you look back on your life as you place the gun to your head? That endless nothingness you see when you wait for happiness to pass you by? That… despicable tingly feeling when you finally find something beautiful and worth living for? The simplest of things can keep you from flowing over; it's fucking insane, but hearing suicide from your view… I'll give you a chance. Tell me, what kept you from death?"

Madeleine's heart beat somewhat quicker as she realized how much she could relate.

"It is truly terrifying to be alone; the endless terror of reality. There are some out there who need that comfort; the love. Heh… the shit that humanity thrives within… it's a perfect mess. People hide behind a mask but the soul within breaks through, and tears away at the shell. After time, we deteriorate into nothing unless we do something about it. This will probably sound like CRAP to you, but love it what keeps us whole; it's what kept me alive."

Johnny's eyes were glazed over, immersed deep in thought.

Madeleine just hung there, trying to steady her breath as she grit her teeth and wrinkled her nose from the headache; pounding, pounding, pounding, pounding louder and louder yet into her ears.

Closing her eyes, Madeleine willed herself to calm down and breathe… breathe… but tears came to her eyes anyway. She was not crying for herself. She could care less about herself; she had little meaning to humanity, where as Johnny had the guts to take on a stranger. He was going to give it all away…

The sound of a chain rattled above her and she felt herself be lowered to the floorboards beneath her head. Opening her eyes she saw Johnny cranking a handle on the wall beside her, a blank expression on his face. After being completely lowered onto the ground, Madeleine curled into the fetal position and buried her face in her arms, willing even the smallest bit of comfort to herself.

"You're a lot smarter than I thought you'd be, Madeleine. You took a different toll on the situation than any other human would have; something different. I envy your courage," Johnny picked up his knife from the floor and stood several feet away from Madeleine, his depressed face put on once again. "The remnants of human society have rotted away to nothing," Johnny pointed a slender finger to the pile of bodies that lay in a heap over in the corner, "so I am forced to exterminate the shit. I find it a sickening task, but I've learned to like it, and live with it. There limited people here, like you, who can sympathize. You have convinced me enough to continue on with life, and I'll spare your life; you don't deserve the pain I would have inflicted upon you."

Johnny went up to her and unlocked the chain that bound her feet and he cut off the cloth that bound her hands as well, not noticing the fact that he had sliced her legs and hands in the process. However, they were shallow cuts that ran along her skin, only leaving a small sting.

"Come, I will lead you out.…," Johnny led her through a labyrinth of halls and rooms, passing more corpses and torture equipment. Passing through one last room, she saw a wall covered in crimson; the room was pungent with the smell of blood, but Madeleine did not wince at the thought.

Johnny glared at the blood, growling with hate before leading her up the stairs and to ground floor. Seeing the exit of the house, Maddie sighed with both happiness and sadness. She was so glad to get away from the asylum, but Johnny seemed so… alone.

"Perhaps, Maddie, we will meet again sometime; I enjoyed that little talk with you…"

_**(Flashback fades out…)**_

* * *

><p>(AUTHOR'S NOTE)<p>

And that is how Maddie and Johnny met. Just a simple smile can change your whole life around. Hooray for frequent updates!

Warning: I will be going on vacation soon, so I might not be able to update for a while; but I WILL continue with the story afterwards! Perhaps I will get some inspiration while I'm gone…?

Hope you liked the chapter. I worked hard on the dialogue. VERY hard; so I hope it's good enough and what you wanted! I write your(readers) benefit!

I will work more on the friendship/ romance plot of the story. Patience people, if you are looking for romance; I'm waiting for JUST the right moment…

If you readers don't mind the fact that Johnny is very OOC in the story, good, because he's going to be in some SERIOUS OOC action. Okay? (:

I WILL try to keep him as original as I can though, so… yeah.

REVIEW! MESSAGE ME! Reviews make me cry with joy. Literally. So, if you would, inform me in any way your opinion and view on my writing style and the plot line! Is Johnny TOO OOC, is he still original(most likely not), is he somewhat OOC, do you HATE the story, do you like it? TELL ME!

Disclaimer N' Stuff:

Johnny and any JTHM characters belong to Jhonen Vasquez. Only I own Madeleine/ Maddie.

"…Systematic detachment from emotional reaction. Terrifying to realize how easy it is to be affected. It seems an emotional enema is next on the agenda. Flush out the excess humanity. Whether what happened was a dream or not, it still signifies the start of something new and untainted by slavery to some external thing. I feel more whole than before, and that brings its own danger – that of self-servitude."

-Johnny the Homicidal Maniac/ Jhonen Vasquez


	7. Chapter 7

**(AUTHOR'S NOTE!) I have decided to officially add romance into the plot, and this is the chapter where it all starts… so, if you don't want any romance, TURN BACK NOW, or fear your WORST fate. **

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><p><strong>(4:00 P.M.)<strong>

(MADELEINE'S POV)

The brisk, temperature hung calmly in the air; small, white flurries fell upon the pair as they walked to the car. Madeleine kept her head down as she clutched her personal pair of skates while a notebook was shoved under her arm as she unlocked the doors to her 2007 Toyota Prius. Tossing her skates in the trunk, she signaled for Johnny to do the same before shutting the hatch and returning to the driver's seat.

Maddie tugged at the black and white woven beanie on her head as Johnny opened the door of the passenger's seat. "I'll take you back to your house to let you add on another layer of clothes or whatever you need; it's fucking FREEZING outside, and I don't think you're gonna like it when you come back, sick."

Backing out of the parking lot, Maddie carefully drove to Johnny's residence, wary of the ice clogging up the streets and glanced at Johnny in the corner of her eye. "Do you mind if I put in one of my CD's? I'm getting kind of tired of the usual Christmas crap on the radio."

"Go ahead. It's your car, your music, you shouldn't have to ask for my permission." Johnny continued to stare out the window, fixed on the unknowable thoughts in his head. Pressing the power button to change the radio to CD media, the first song started to play.

It was from Nickelback; her number one, personal favorite band. Far Away:

'_Cause you know, you know, you know;_

_I love you; I loved you all along,_

_I miss you; you're far away, too far too long._

_I keep dreaming you'll be with me and you never go…_

_Start breathing if I don't see you anymore…_

Blushing from the sudden realization of the song, she glanced at the radio, and tried to push away the memory when Johnny had left her… _STOP IT!_

_Stop it. He's here; he's alive, I'm alive, we're both here together-_

_You useless piece of shit…_ Resentment crawled through her skin as she looked through the window.

She fought the raging static in her head and clenched her hands around the steering wheel, noticing that they we're one house away from Johnny's home.

Pulling up to the curb, she placed her hands in her lap and messed with her grey, trench-coat sleeve as Nny got out and headed to his house.

* * *

><p>(JOHNNY'S POV)<p>

Opening the wooden door to his house, Johnny tripped over a pile of rubble and debris. Picking himself back up, he took a deep breath and headed to the closet, but paused in mid step as a familiar voice sounded through the room, "out all night…? What is keeping you busy; a woman perhaps?"

Johnny narrowed his eyes, and looked to the plastic decoration sitting several feet away from him, "met an old friend. She is nothing but a friend…," Johnny's voice trailed off as a frown fell onto his face. Opening the door to his closet, he let his eyes scan the individual coats, sweatshirts and long-sleeved t-shirts. "I don't understand how she could be so… so… I can't comprehend why I feel like this."

"Pitying remorse… let yourself feel for the human; emotions are the key to life. Hunger; long for the input in which you hide yourself from. Let yourself experience LOVE."

The plastic burger boy smiled, lining his pointed, plastic teeth together and put on a sincere look on it's face.

"Meaty… thing, I have no need or time for feelings." Johnny lied through his teeth, thinking back to the moments he had shared with Madeleine… was that…queasy, static feeling… no.

Love was emptiness… meaningless. After Devi… he wouldn't let himself feel physically or emotionally for a woman like that…

"The facts are lying right before your very own eyes, and yet you curse yourself by not returning the affection of someone who keeps you sane. TOUCH it; HOLD it, CARESS it. You might have lost your chance with that other insolent tick, but you have learned the wrong-doing of your actions. Let yourself be free; you are the only thing that is keeping you chained to yourself."

Johnny sighed as he exited his coat closet, adding another purple, long-sleeved top to his torso before grabbing a pair of gloves. Nny felt as if he was going to projectile vomit onto the floor, but nothing came up his throat. Emotions… were… needed.

Forcing these words into into his head, Johnny shrugged his long, black coat back onto his skinny body before taking himself over to a specific area on the floor, picking up his own hat from the floorboards. Brushing it off with a hand, Johnny clutched the grey beanie in his hand before looking at the Bub's burger boy warily.

Nny was speechless. He couldn't argue against the truth.

Johnny tugged the pair of gloves onto his hands; he repeated the phrase back to himself as he opened the door, anxiety pricking through him as he opened the door to the passenger's side.

After getting situated, Madeleine drove carefully down the icy streets; a determined look was sprawled on her face and a small crease lined between her eyebrows in concentration.

Looking away from her, Johnny slouched in his seat, glancing out the window. Passing Squee's house, he noticed a small snowman built up on his lawn, making the corners of his mouth tug into a smile. He was such a nice, innocent little Squee; he didn't deserve the torment that his parents gave him.

Madeleine spoke, her voice like a remedy, "I'm going to the NERVE building to drop off a piece of work before we go to the lake; I hope you don't mind."

Johnny shook his head as he watched the houses pass by, trying to get the sound of Reverend Meat out of his head. It was just a whisper now, but the silence between them helped the voice sound dominant.

"No, no it's fine." Johnny breathed out, leaning his head against the side of the window.

* * *

><p>(<strong>10 Minutes Later;<strong> Author's Note: I find these time frames easier to do than to fill a whole paragraph with unimportant things.)

(MADELEINE'S POV)

Pulling into the overhead of the building, Madeleine parked her Prius before getting out and smoothing out her grey coat which crossed over her chest and buttoned up the side.

Her black converse crunched through the snow as she walked to the side of her car to retrieve her booklet of sketches and designs before heading into the two-story building.

After pushing her way through a large set of glass doors with iron handles, she went up to the front desk and to the female assistant sitting at the computer, typing away on her plastic keyboard. She had blonde hair pinned up while she wore a red, long-sleeved shirt which was tucked into a formal, black pencil skirt.

Setting the sketchbook on the counter, she said, "deliver this to Mr. Nerve as soon as possible. It is the assigned sketches he wanted, specified, and needs. Tell him I need to take the next few days off as well."

"Yes, right away Ma'am. Merry Christmas," the woman took the pad and set it beside her pile of files before continuing typing.

Turning away from the woman, Madeleine popped her neck, realizing how tense she was inside of the Nerve Production building. But then again, she didn't like socializing with people she didn't know or disliked.

But, all the same, she was happy to get a breath of fresh air as she opened the glass doors, walking to her car, ready to teach Johnny how to skate.

* * *

><p>(15 Minutes Later)<p>

(JOHNNY'S POV)

The parking lot was deserted as they parked the small car in the slot, nearest the lake.

Pursing his lips in suspicion, Johnny slowly got out of the car and carried his pair of skates with one finger, finding them surprisingly heavy. Following Madeleine, Johnny looked at the shoes in his hand before walking farther along the worn away path toward the lake.

Finally, they came to an end in their path, relatively close to the shore, and sat down on a nearby picnic table. "So… how the Hell do you do this," Johnny asked as he tugged off his classic, steel-toed boots and exchanged them for the smaller, but heavy skating shoes.

"I'll show you; I'm sure you're perfectly capable of skating, but it's hard at the beginning." Madeleine looked over to him as she laced up her own pair of skates. Her hair hung in her face, but she ignored this, and Johnny continued to lace up his as well until both of them were finished.

Being only several feet from the icy shore gave them a slight advantage so they wouldn't have to walk awkwardly on the snow.

Madeleine got up, walking oddly as she made her way to the edge of the lake. Gracefully, she set both feet onto the bluish-silver ice and she gestured to Johnny to follow along.

Getting up, Johnny almost toppled over from the blades under his feet, but after regaining his balance, he slowly walked to the shore, hesitant to slide onto the ice.

Finally, after a few moments of consideration, Johnny slid easily onto the ice before him, flailing his arms in the air. Immediately, before Johnny could lose his footing, Madeleine appeared behind him in a flash, steadying him and keeping him on his feet.

"Follow my lead," Madeleine pushed him a little, making Nny slide across the ice slowly.

"I'm not perfect at ice skating either, but I know the basics; watch how I angle my body and the direction my legs move," Maddie bent herself forward slightly, bending her knees and moved her legs accordingly, before she straightened her spine and legs and continued to slide in that direction.

Imitating Madeleine's move as she had informed him to do, Johnny slid foreword successfully with no harm done. A victorious light shined in his eyes as he skated foreword just a little more before looking back to Madeleine who was recording his move.

"Nice… very nice, actually," Madeleine scratched her neck, a puzzled expression laid on her face before she shook her head and continued, "step 2: learn how to stop." Maddie accelerated toward Johnny, before angling the side of her body towards him, shaving the top of the ice and sending a small shower of ice bits towards Johnny. "When you angle your body like I just did, be sure to add pressure to the ice so your feet don't fall out from under you." Madeleine skated off to another patch of ice on the lake, watching Johnny intently.

Repeating Madeleine's move, he failed, slipping and falling on his stomach. "Fuck…" Gathering himself up, Johnny straightened his back before narrowing his eyes and trying once again, but with a small smile on his face.

Skating toward another place on the ice, Johnny tried the move once again, and correctly stopped this time.

"Exceptional! This is amazing since you're a beginner. Now; onto step three," Madeleine skated up to him and angled her body like she did with the previous technique, and got the result of gliding around him, "changing direction; try it."

Johnny did as he was told, biting his tongue as he tried, and failed, falling onto his butt.

"You can get up by yourself right?" He heard Madeleine's skates and a low chuckle sound behind him as he steadily lifted himself off of the ice. Turning around, Johnny glared at Madeleine before trying to angle himself once again like Maddie had, and only got the same response; falling on his ass again.

Johnny heard Madeleine trying to stifle her laughter, making Johnny laugh a little as well.

Trying yet once more, Johnny got up and accelerated with a speed that he could not control, flailing his arms; looking up, he found Madeleine turned around, standing still on the ice… oh shit oh shit oh shit "OH SHIT! MAD-"

Maddie turned around just as Johnny toppled onto her, both of them landing in the snowy bank beside the lake.

Looking up, Johnny noticed that he was lying halfway on top of Madeleine, both staring at each other, embarrassed smirks on their faces.

Hesitating, Johnny gazed into her eyes, forgetting the fact that they were in an awkward position. Her eyes were so perfectly clear… a gorgeous, soft set of blue…

That unmistakable feeling within turned to white-hot liquid; a desire that Johnny forced himself to ignore several times before… love.

_Hunger; long for the input in which you hide yourself from. Let yourself experience LOVE…_

Reverend Meat's voice rang back into his ears as he got onto his knees, now hovering over Madeleine.

_I have no need or time for feelings…._

Resisting the urge to plant his lips on hers, Johnny tore his eyes away from her, and swallowed the emotional lump in his throat as he slid off of Maddie.

"Sorry about that…," Johnny chuckled as he looked over to Madeleine who broke into a fit of heartwarming giggles and laughter.

They continued laughing, lying in the snow beside each other, while Johnny pushed away the guilty pleasure; the longing for love.

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><p>(AUTHOR'S NOTE:)<p>

I worked on the ending for SEVERAL HOURS, wondering if I should… let Johnny express himself, or not. But… unfortunately for those of you expecting a lovey-dovey kissy chapter, you will need to read further on. But I promise you, you WILL get your wish granted. SAPPINESS! SAAAAAPPY!

**I AM CHANGING THE STORY NAME: I will change it in between the next chapter and the chapter after that, so you readers out there have the time to know this.**

It's new, reformed name is:

Never Gonna Be Alone

(FIRST PERSON WHO FIGURES OUT THE BAND'S NAME, GET'S A FREE BRAINFREEZY!)

The lyrics in this chapter belong ONLY TO NICKELBACK. And I am sorry if you do not really care for his music if you have heard of him… I find it pretty good. But… my opinions are just as flawed as anyone elses… so…

I'm off topic; …. Awwwh. Johnny feels love and gooeyness! You have GOT to love these mushy Christmas loooooove stories. HOORAY FOR JOHNNY'S OOCNESS!

And, yes, Madeleine DOES work at the same company that Devi D. works at. I'm not adding her into the story… at least I'm not considering it.

Disclaimer N' Stuff…

Johnny C. and any JTHM characters belong to Jhonen Vasquez. I own Madeleine in the story.

So… now what? Are you guys gonna review, or just sit there like idiots? (hah, no, I just kid) Please, please please tell me your view on the story through a review or personal message. It warms my heart and brings tears to my eyes knowing I have pleased you or disgusted you through my writing. Tell me what you THINK!

"_You flaw. At least I'm under the delusion of doing something productive."_

_-Johnny the Homicidal Maniac/ Jhonen Vasquez_


	8. Chapter 8

(MADELEINE'S POV)

They had continued skating on the lake, gliding and grazing smoothly across the ice. The clouds had passed by now, and the light outside grew steadily darker, showing off the glittering stars above.

Stopping at the edge of the lake, Madeleine continued up the hill in her skates before sitting down on the bench which held some of their belongings. Her legs ached from the strenuous work of the skating, but she pushed this away and started to untie the shoes, exchanging the skates to her normal, comfortable black converse.

Looking up, she noticed Nny sliding toward her direction on the ice. The light that stood next to the bench of which she was sitting on, was lit, helping Madeleine see a little easier through the increasing darkness.

Johnny stumbled up to her, a happy look brightening his face as the light beside her shined in his eyes. His two black locks of hair were poking out at the edge of the beanie that sat on his head, giving him an odd, innocent look; a smirk threatening to invade her facial features.

Johnny's smile fell from his face as he sat beside her, switching off his own pair of skates for his bulky, crazy steel-toed boots that he always wore.

"I told you it'd be fun…," Madeleine said, putting on her second shoe and tying the laces before getting a light chuckle in response.

Ruffling her hair, Maddie checked over her clothes, not noticing how wet her back was from when she fell in the snow with Johnny.

Madeleine's face heated slightly at the memory, forcing herself to hang her head and have her black, wavy hair to shield her face. Embarrassing enough as it was, Maddie remembered back to the day that Johnny had left her. Guilt and depression riddled and twisted itself underneath her skin as she thought back to when she had proclaimed her feelings toward him, but only got that disappointing answer; being turned down…. Was she… turned down?

She forced the memory out of her head, realizing how blurry her vision was getting with the sudden onset of tears hiding in her eyes.

_Grow up bitch; you know perfectly well that nobody loves you back. _

She glanced over to find Johnny, bent over with an elbow propped up on his knee, cradling his head with the palm of his hand while his other arm was circled around his thin torso.

Well, this night could end several ways: first, being that she could drive Johnny home, ending the night with a simple goodbye. Second, she could drive to her house and she could change into a dry pair of clothes before figuring out what to do from then. Or, third, just sit there and wait for Johnny to figure something out.

Not seeing much of a choice, Maddie started, "I could drop you off at your house or we can go back to the apartment, I can change into a new set of clothes and we can figure something out there."

Getting up from the bench, Madeleine shivered from the drop in temperature and walked back to her car, signaling for Johnny to follow along behind. The snow had slightly covered their tracks, but they found their way up the slope safely, until they found Maddie's small, grey Prius parked just several feet away.

Pulling out her car keys from one of the pockets on her coat, Madeleine unlocked the car getting a, 'beep' in response.

Once they were both inside of the car, she turned the ignition, and waited for the air to heat in the vents while they sat in silence.

Damned depression…

* * *

><p>(JOHNNY'S POV)<p>

Johnny contemplated on emotions as they got out of the car and headed toward they grey apartment building before them.

His chance of 'Immortalizing the Moment' didn't work out so well with Devi… would Madeleine react the same, screaming in terror with a face he couldn't bear wanting to remember?

He couldn't do that… he wouldn't allow himself to torture her as he had done to so many other assholes. Maddie didn't deserve the treatment…

Besides; he had already killed himself once, and he wasn't welcome in Heaven or Hell. God didn't even have the care to answer some simple questions. Only Satan gave him the answers he longed for, only to find out the pitiful truth of what he really was. A god-damned flusher. So what was the reason to try another attempt at suicide with the woman that he secretly felt something for?

They trudged their way through the snow and into Madeleine's apartment in awkward silence. Opening the door, Maddie flipped on the light, getting a warm, milky light to spread around the room and headed into the hallway which led to her bedroom, tracking snow onto her carpeted floors.

Taking off his own coat, Johnny brushed off the leftover snow with his hand while Madeleine shut the door to her bedroom. Grinding his teeth, Johnny scrunched his nose in distaste as guilt and emotion washed over him. He should have… no…. he could've just… maybe she… dammit.

Frowning from the emotion that swept over him, Johnny whipped his head to the hall as his ears picked up the sound of… crying?

* * *

><p>(MADELEINE'S POV)<p>

Walking into her bedroom, Madeleine checked her phone which was laid out on her wooden dresser. The calendar listed what all she had planned for the next few days. Her eyes scanned the agenda before coming across December 25th; Christmas day.

Written in big, bold letters wrote: **Visit Mom and Dad**

Of course, her parents had to be killed on Christmas; convenient, no?

Swallowing the bile in her throat, Madeleine turned off the phone and clenched her fists as she opened the second droor of her cabinet.

Her eyes blurred and stung with tears and she inhaled through her nose, afraid if she opened her mouth, she would let out a whimper of grief.

Maddie's eyes filled with water as an unexpected wave of depression overcame her. Why was she having these crazy mood-swings? Why was it that she longed for the comfort of her parents or someone who could care? She missed the arms of comfort, that warmth that spread inside of her when something truly, genuinely made her… happy.

_Take the blade; stop the continuous tick of emotion, and let the tip pierce the veil that masks the lie._

Maddie's breath caught in her throat as she glanced to the top of the dresser; a slender silver object glinting from the light in the room. Her fingers loosened and a tear escaped her eye, revealing her emotion to the metal victim before her.

Slowly, she pried off her clothes, picking off her jacket and shirt; the skin on her torso was stretched out as her ribs created indentations across her stomach.

The lumps against her skin made her remember the mounds of dirt that sat over her parent's graves as she recalled the memory of her parent's funeral…

A priest in black, holding a book of empty words-no-psalms and prayers… nobody came. It was just the last of the family, and Madeleine; dressed up in simple black attire, she, being only four years of age, Madeleine only guessed that her parents went missing.

She didn't know they had been cut off from their last breaths by a sick and twisted murderer…

Damn, she missed the reassuring comfort of a mother and the defensive strength of a father. Alone and isolation from society was completely normal; it was to be expected. But that pinprick of grief and mourning of parents was horrid.

Madeleine wondered if Johnny ever felt the same about his own. Did he grieve?

Johnny; hell, she didn't know she could miss a homicidal maniac such as he. After he left… leaving her there, alone in an empty hotel room… after knowing what it was to have a friend, Madeleine broke. She quit her job at the bookstore, making her loose her salary, so she had to find something else.

She found work at NERVE, and finally got enough money to rent an apartment, but her mental state didn't heal.

Only when she took her mind back to the blade that glinted against her skin was when she stabilized and surfaced back to sanity. Johnny wasn't just some… guy you found on the streets, he had potential even if he had a short temper.

He was worth a friendship, and what she thought, her heart.

The blade licked her wrist, stitching small window cracks of blood on her skin. Could she let herself loose, and slip over a vein?

Loneliness;

Not something she should expect much…

Carving another cut into her skin, she headed toward her bedside and sat down, pressing the blade harder into the pale softness which covered her forearms.

Another tear rolled down her face as she let out a soft cry. Madeleine flicked her head up as she heard a knock on the door. Letting the blade drop to the floor, she studied the blood that ran down her forearm.

"Madeleine?"

Johnny's voice was heard from the other side of the door, and Madeleine realized how obnoxiously loud she was crying.

Looking frantically around the room, she searched for a shirt to cover herself with while wiping her eyes.

"Yeah?"

The door opened as Maddie crossed her arms over her torso, smearing the blood on her stomach as she tried to hide the fresh cuts that lined her wrists. Johnny peeked in, eyeing Maddie's bare back, trying to avoid himself from staring.

Hanging her head, Maddie tried to blink away the tears, but came to no avail; more salty droplets crawling farther down her face. Wiping them away with an irritated flick of a hand, Maddie took a deep breath and waited for Johnny to continue.

* * *

><p>(JOHNNY'S POV)<p>

Curious and somewhat… worrisome, Johnny went up to Madeleine's door and knocked, getting the response of silence. The sobbing had stopped, and he narrowed his eyes as he called her name.

Getting a, "yeah," Johnny opened the door and spotted Madeleine's back facing him; her shoulder blades bulging against her skin, making it look like Maddie had wings.

Pitiful. Sick. Beautiful Mess.

"You weren't there," Madeleine whispered, "y- you can't. You can't do that." Her voice cracked and she cleared her throat as she wiped her face with a free hand.

Johnny's eyes glazed over as he stared at her back, "I did it to keep you safe. Dwelling on the past isn't what I'm here for. I never truly understood the concept of friendship, but I left for a reason."

Madeleine laughed lightly and shook her head in agreement, mimicking Johnny's words, "dwelling on the past isn't what you're here for… you're completely right. Damn, I'm fucked up; so fucked up and dwelling on shit isn't going to get me anywhere." Madeleine got up, uncrossing her arms and revealing fresh cuts that lined up and down her pale, scared wrists.

"Here… let me clean that up for you," Johnny's voice was low and dark as he headed back out of the room and retrieved the same medical supplies that Maddie had used on himself just a day earlier.

Self destruction is such a pretty little thing; a beautiful, yet terrifying uncertainty of yourself of which your mind is consumed in self-consciousness, poisoned with the idea to inflict of some sort of self-abuse.

Bringing the assortment of bottles and cotton balls, Johnny strode back to Madeleine's room with a serious expression on his face.

There was something she was hiding… there was something else; but what was it?

Johnny knocked on the door with his free hand and peeked back inside once more to find Madeleine wearing a charcoal shaded tank top, shrugging on another pair of flared jeans. After she was situated with the clothes, she sniffed, wiped her eyes one last time, and sat onto the edge of her bed.

"Madeleine…," Johnny said as he walked over to sit beside her.

Setting down the medical supplies onto the counter beside the bed, Johnny turned to Madeleine and softened his face, his eyes clouded with worry and guilt as he treated to the fresh slits covering her arms.

Madeleine's eyes were slightly pink around the edges as she looked at the floor beneath her. Another silver tear rolled down her face as she shuddered out an uneasy breath.

"It's on the floor over there…," Maddie said with a wince as she said the last word. She nodded her head to the other side of the bed, her lips formed into a straight line across her face. Now, finished with cleaning the cuts, Johnny threw the bloody cotton balls and band-aid wrappers before retreating back to the bed beside Madeleine.

"I'll fetch it later; and that isn't what I was going to say," Johnny eyed her thin hands which were now shaking unintentionally.

Reaching out, Nny took her hands in his, smoothing his thumbs over her soft, sickly pale skin. The sudden contact with Madeleine sent unintentional sparks into his chest as he thought of how corny and sappy the moment was.

Recalling more memories he had with Nailbunny and Reverend Meat, more pity and guilt began picking at the truth that ran through his veins.

I'm losing it aren't I? I don't know which ones deserve my… 'attention'. And I lose things. Things leave me, and I can't remember what it is to hold on to something. Friends leave- everything leaves…

It's a frightening world to be alone in…

_You were born a feeling creature. There is no unlearning of your nature…_

_**Pitying remorse… let you feel for the human; emotions are the key to life. Hunger; long for the input in which you hide yourself from. Let yourself experience LOVE. TOUCH it; HOLD it, CARESS it; you are the only thing that is keeping you chained to yourself…**_

Looking back to Maddie's face, Johnny grew curious as he took a deep breath; _**Emotions were needed.**_

"Someone once told me,'life isn't worth living if you don't take the risk'… now it's my turn to test it and see if that's true; I think I know how to fix this..."

…_**you are the only thing that is keeping you chained to yourself…**_

* * *

><p>(AUTHOR'S NOTE:)<p>

I AM A CRUEL PERSON FOR GIVING YOU A CLIFF HANGER!

I am back from the vacation, I had an amazing time with my parents, and I hope you all aren't mad that I didn't update sooner. But, unfortunately… I leave once again on Sunday. I have no doubt though, that I will update enough to get another chapter or so before I leave.

I am CURSING MYSELF for changing the title ONCE AGAIN, and this is the NEW, AND OFFICIAL TITLE FOR THE STORY:

_Finding Beauty in Negative Places_

Yes, I got the idea from the band: Seether.

I'm not THAT big of a fan, but you have to agree with me on this; it fits with the storyline.

For any of those who are angry with me for NOT adding the romance sooner, I am sorry… IT'S COMING NEXT! BRACE YOURSELVES FOR SOME SERIOUS OOC ACTION!

Disclaimer: Johnny, Reverend Meat, Nailbunny, the Doughboys and any JTHM characters I forgot to add belong to the mighty JHONEN VASQUEZ! Without him, this story wouldn't be here, and you wouldn't enjoy all of these horrible cliff hangers I give you…

(Underlined phrases are true quotes from the JTHM comics while the bold lettering are my own phrases from previous chapters.)

I own Madeleine. (If ANY of you think I have this sick ass crush on Johnny, you are wrong. Just because I add my character in a romance story with this specific homicidal maniac DOES NOT mean I have a crush on a fictional, comic character…. Someone just suggested it, and I thought it might be fun to create a romance plot in the story….Although it would be cool if I dated a comic serial killer like Nny…) & (also, I WAS diagnosed with anorexia, but I've restored back to 'healthier conditions', so don't worry)

Off topic once again… I am rambling.

REVIEW! I accept flames, encouragement, etc. Message me about the story and your opinion on it. Am I a horrid person for leaving you hanging on this chapter? Do you absolutely hate it? Love it? Biggest fan, or do you want to projectile vomit because it's bad? TELL ME!

_*watches a man get run over by a 'Hell Tours' bus in Hell* "That was… memorable."_

_-Johnny the Homicidal Maniac/ Jhonen Vasquez_


	9. Chapter 9

_(Author's Note:) The OC'ness…_

_You have been warned… _

* * *

><p>(JOHNNY'S POV)<p>

Fucking emotions…

* * *

><p>(MADELEINE'S POV)<p>

Swallowing the lump in her throat, Madeleine looked to Johnny, clearing her eyes from the tears which continued to spill out onto her face.

"Someone once told me,'life isn't worth living if you don't take the risk'… now it's my turn to test it and see if that's true; I think I know how to fix this..."

Nny's voice was surprisingly soft as he searched her eyes, uncertain of what to do next.

Carefully testing out his actions, Johnny slowly touched her face, trying to hide a reluctant look behind his dark eyes. The tips of his fingers tickled her face as she repressed a shudder.

His hand became steady as he cupped her thin face with the palm of his hand as he muttered in an almost inaudible voice, "emotions are needed…"

Leaning into Johnny's hand for comfort, she closed her eyes and another unexpected tear crawled down her cheekbone. A flood of warmth crept over her face and down to her stomach and legs as she fought off the urge to sob once more. She had waited so long for a moment like this to happen, but it was burdened with depression and harsh self-resentment.

_Bitch; whore; pitiful; shit; pessimist; worthless._

The list of names that screamed at her in her head abruptly stopped as a pair of soft lips pressed against hers, soothing the noise which thrashed inside of her head.

Shocked, Madeleine tried to restrain herself from pulling back before she realized Johnny's offer.

Accepting, Maddie kissed him back with the slightest amount of passion. Neither went past any boundaries, both afraid of what could unintentionally happen next.

* * *

><p>(JOHNNY'S POV)<p>

Yelling and screaming, emotions and lust, Reverend Meat, the Doughboys, cutting, suicide, depression and color pounded in Johnny's head; the excess he had previously cast away all flooding back to him.

His mind raced back to the moment back in his chambers, holding Madeleine prisoner, ready to commit suicide with the person who seemed as if she cared. Mr. Fuck and D-boy's taunts ringing in his ears, picking at the heat in his blood to kill; don't let the moment last. Hold it forever, immortalizing the moment.

_**Hunger; long for the input in which you hide yourself from… TOUCH it…**_

The sickening spread of emotions burning his veins, controlling his actions and unintentional arousing in embarrassing places. Lust scraped at his tongue while true affection, love, crashed down and into his chest, igniting the flame that burned within and intensifying the kiss.

Losing control of his actions, Johnny let go of her other hand and set his hand on her waist, the blood pounding in his ears, a repetition of, "kill" whispering to him. Immortalize the moment… don't let the sun set; trace the stars and keep them from fading.

Tasting Madeleine's tears, he pulled away and forced himself to look at her face. Her eyes held a small ounce of hope while her sadness was replaced with what seemed like embarrassment and ecstasy.

Immediately realizing what he had done, Johnny narrowed his eyes, horrified and thoroughly disgusted at himself.

_**HOLD it…**_

Again, his actions worked against his head, pulling Madeleine into a hug; kill…

_Kill…._

His thin arms circled around Madeleine, holding her to him, and closing the space between them. Another wave of emotion poured into him as his ears picked up the sound of a content sigh from Maddie.

She was so fragile; he felt so protective of her…

_Kill…._

_**CARRESS it…**_

_Don't let the moment end!_

Johnny's mind whirled with emotion and confusion, trying to figure out what to do. So many emotions… too much emptiness…

Acting quickly, seeing that his heart might explode from the amount of unwanted passion inside, he struck the nape of Madeleine's neck, sending her into unconsciousness.

Limp, Madeleine fell into an awkward position in Johnny's arms; her face buried into his chest and her hands lying at his hips. Angry at himself for being open to the emptiness, Johnny wrinkled his nose, the continuous reminder to kill ringing in his head.

Frowning, Johnny studied Madeleine with a pitying and regretful face. Another tear fell down her skinny face, seeping into his shirt.

_Don't let the sun set…._

Sighing, wondering what to do with her, fighting against the noise which was persuading him to kill Maddie, Johnny scooped her up, completely surprised at how sickeningly light she was in his arms. Bowing his head, letting his two bits of jet-black hair fall into his face, he got up and headed out of the room.

* * *

><p>(FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO FEEL I AM LACKING VIOLENCE AND JOHNNY IS WAY TOO OOC, HERE IS A SHORT SIDE STORY TO HELP YOUR NEEDS; this has absolutely no connection to the story line, whatsoever)<p>

The blue sky above was a beautiful ocean of color as a mix of priceless and trashed cars zoomed through the city streets.

Driving a small Volxwagon, was a man with a determined spirit, speeding the highways with a suspicious tone in his eyes. His dark pupils were tiny specks roaming in his eyes as he searched the sidewalks with a psychotic spark hiding behind his smile.

His two locks of hair hung in his face, shading his thin cheekbones while he wore a simple, black, long-sleeved shirt and black jeans. Heavy, steel-toed boots covered his feet as he pushed down on the gas pedal, forcing the car to speed faster through the streets.

Spotting a perfect target, Johnny reached for his bow and arrow, piercing a piece of paper onto the weapon after forcing the small car to a stop. Stepping out of the vehicle, Johnny's heart beat at a crazy speed as his adrenaline rush pushed higher and higher, aiming the arrow at a man on the opposite side of the street.

The man was in his early twenties, having a beard, loose fitting clothes, holding a sign, 'dude, spare me some change; I need BEER'.

Laughing with insane happiness, Johnny shot his target through his spine, making the unfortunate man fall, face-down onto the icy pavement below.

A small pool of blood ran out from his chest; the letter stuck on his back read, "kick me."

* * *

><p>(MADELEINE'S POV)<p>

Prying her eyes open, her pupils adjusted to the dark room surrounding her. She was lying on her couch in her apartment, but her head was lying in a lap. Her hands were preoccupied, clutching onto a long, skeletal arm. Dragging her eyes up, she let go of Johnny's arm and jumped with surprise, falling off of the couch and onto the carpet below as she caught sight of his face, "MOTHER F-."

Frowning, Madeleine gathered herself up off of the floor, questioning to herself what was going on. Why was she sleeping? Why was she sleeping in Johnny's lap?

"Nice wake-up call," Madeleine muttered, rubbing her sore neck before looking around the room.

The lights were off, and the only source of light came from the window through the cracks of the blinds, stating it was daylight; officially Christmas.

Damn, it was cold…

Glancing down at her body, she realized she was only wearing a grey tank top and jeans. Spotting her bathrobe which was lying next to her on the armrest, she immediately covered herself in the fleece before getting up, her vision blackening at the edges from the sudden rush of blood to her head.

Taking a peek at the clock that hung on the wall to her left, it read: 9:32 AM.

"Johnny…?" Madeleine's lips formed a thin line as she tried to remember what all had happened the previous night. The skating, being pummeled and thrown into the snow with Johnny, coming home…

Gripping her wrist, she pulled up the soft, black fabric of the robe and spotted the bandages covering several fresh cuts that weaved into her veins.

Maddie's face fell, the color turning to a sick shade of white before an embarrassing strip of crimson shadowed her face, remembering what all had happened.

The heat washing over her face was unbearable as she forced herself to look at Johnny, her lips numb from the memory. But… when, how did she… become unconscious?

Nny, too, had a very slight rosy color added to his cheeks as he avoided her gaze.

"Please tell me that last night didn't happen. It didn't happen," Madeleine's eyebrows knitted together in worry and discomfort from the tension radiating between them.

The air grew still as she awaited his answer, arms crossed over her chest in a very defensive position.

"I'm afraid I can't do that," Johnny said, watching Madeleine with a twinge of guilt in his eyes.

"I'm sorry. I didn't- I mean I don't…," Madeleine turned away from Johnny, a headache pulsing in her head. Pinching the bridge of her nose, Maddie took a deep breath, trying to steady her nerves and the throbbing sensation behind her eyes.

"Why are you blaming yours-," Johnny stopped in mid-sentence from the shrill ring of the doorbell.

Glaring at the wooden door several feet away from her, Madeleine's eye twitched as she walked over to the entryway. Opening the door with a smug look on her face, she found a single caroler.

Dressed in a trenchcoat, earmuffs, gloves, boots, the whole Christmas attire, the visitor smiled widely. She had relatively dark brown hair that hung past her shoulders, the color contrasting against the white sea of snow surrounding her.

Just as the caroler opened her mouth to sing, Madeleine cut it with a rude retort, "Merry Christmas; now if you would, please, fuck off."

Maddie absolutely despised Christmas carolers, and usually they would scamper off to another house to sing horrible tunes when Madeleine cursed them, but this specific woman persisted.

"Just one song? Please," she begged, a shine of hope in her eyes as she continued to smile.

"No."

Shutting the door, Madeleine turned back around and headed to her bedroom, passing Nny who was utterly confused.

Ignoring this, however, Madeleine shut the door to her room and fetched a white, long sleeved shirt and eyed her dark grey trench coat hanging off of the foot of her bed. Popping her neck and trying to release the tension building inside of her, Madeleine tugged off her bathrobe and tank top and switched it for the long sleeved shirt and mostly dry trench coat.

Spotting her shoes lying on the floor, she added those as well, contemplating about the night before. Shuddering, Maddie recalled the sickening feeling of bliss that swelled up inside of her from the kiss.

She had never been so completely happy in all her years of being alone; always craving that touch, the remedy for something to reach out.

Gritting her teeth, she shook her head, realizing she was fantasizing again. She dared not dream of a life of perfection; jealousy and envy always seemed to spark up and ruin the moment, tearing at the seams of her escape.

A gurgle of hunger tore at her insides, forcing Madeleine's abdomen to cramp, cursing vile words at her.

_Poor, pathetic tick…a shell portraying the poison that thrives beneath._

"No," Madeleine slurred as she paced out of the room and into her bathroom.

After taking a few minutes of extreme cramping and brushing teeth, Madeleine spit out the toothpaste and an angry face plastered onto her face, completely connecting the dots for why she had the crazy mood swings and the short temper with the caroler.

Locking the door to the bathroom, Madeleine added a pad*before exiting the restroom and halting at the front door, glancing at Johnny who had a confused look spread across his face.

"I need to get some fresh air. I'll be back in an hour; do whatever, I don't care, I just need some time."

Opening the door, Madeleine scowled once again, finding that the persistent caroler hadn't left her apartment door step.

"Okay…," Maddie sighed with annoyance before continuing and closing the door behind her, "I will let you sing ONE bloody song, but afterwards you need to FUCK OFF. Okay?"

The visitor grinned and began the beginning of 'Jingle Bells'.

After all was said and done, Madeleine's eye was twitching with irritation and she was gritting her teeth, trying with all her might to tolerate the horrid vocals that were coming out of the caroler's mouth.

"That was amazing," Madeleine said with sarcasm before slamming a crumpled dollar bill into the singers hand and walking off to her car, uneasiness creeping through her.

Starting the ignition, she backed out of the parking lot and drove carefully through the icy streets, slowly but surely making her way towards her destination; the cemetery.

* * *

><p>(AUTHOR'S NOTE)<p>

Ahhh… the romance…

The romance you all had been waiting for has come.(there shall be MORE!)

I KNOW THAT JOHNNY IS OOC. I KNOW WHAT I HAVE GOTTEN MYSELF INTO, BUT I FIND IT QUITE NICE writing the lovey-dovey chappies…

More interesting conflicts shall come… but you will have to wait.

(*) Oh, come on, I'm sure you all know what a pad is for right?

y'know... mother nature? Every woman get's it, I just added it in there to help you see that she is... matured enough...

I am… however, leaving for another week, so it will be a while before you get another update…. I'm sorry!

Oh, that horrid, despicable thing called, 'Writer's Block'… I am getting a bad case of it… but I WILL CONTINUE ON! I would rather DIE than have an unfinished story stop in my hands. I will NOT tolerate that…

Ahh… the Disclaimer…:

Johnny and any characters from JTHM belong to Jhonen Vasquez, and only him. ONLY HIM! Not me…

I own Madeleine however, since she is my OC in the story.

BE READY FOR MORE TWISTS IN THE PLOT! MUAHAHAHA!


	10. Chapter 10

(MADELEINE'S POV)

***84 Lbs.**

The shiny black bangs of her hair blew into her face as a small gust of winter air swirled around Madeleine. Irritated by this, Madeleine grabbed a rubber band off of her thin wrist and pulled her hair up messily as her feet crunched through the ice in the cemetery parking lot.

Huffing out a sigh of irritation, Madeleine failed at pushing away her bangs from her face, so she let her hair be, keeping it tied up.

The sky was overcast with wintry clouds, but no flakes fell upon her; just bitter wind nipping at her exposed neck and face.

After passing the entry gates of the cemetery, she spotted something moving in the corner of her eye. Madeleine snapped her head back to check the empty parking lot several yards behind her. She could have sworn she saw something or someone.

Shrugging off the uneasiness, Madeleine strode between graves, frowning at the spark of sadness filling the emptiness inside of her chest. Not only was her 'friendship' with Johnny confusing her, meeting her early on Christmas Eve after having died and resurrected, and the sudden emotional conflicts between them, but she had to visit her dead parents every year since she was a child on one of the happiest, most joyful holidays.

Although visiting her parents could be seen as a gift for a Christmas present, it was an awful depressing memory to hold onto. She loved her parents dearly, with her whole heart, but buried, lifeless bodies never reassured Madeleine or had strengthened her spirit.

After coming to a stop at her parents' headstones, she tilted her head to the side and stepped upon the compacted snow above the graves. Squatting down into the fluffy snow, Madeleine scooped up the cold flakes and crushed some of the crystals into a ball, while the outer coat melted due to the warmth inside of her palm.

Gritting her teeth, she choked out some uneven breaths, blinking away invisible tears that hid in her eyes. Letting go of the small snowball, Maddie sniffed and laughed.

Pushing herself up, she continued to scoff at herself, realizing her self-pity. She laughed at how depressing her whole life had been until now. Her parents dying... living with her abusive aunt and uncle… the anorexia and the cutting… growing up without the reassurance of friendship… leaving her family and highschool to run away from something she could never get rid of. The list of unfortunate events leading up to being chained in Johnny's chambers, growing a friendship with a homicidal maniac.

That in itself, growing a friendship with a serial killer, was none other than completely crazy. But feeling passion for Johnny? The probability that Johnny could possibly love her back the way she did for him?

Her laughter had morphed into sobs, unmistakable tears streaming down her face as her feet grew numb in the snow.

Propping her elbow on her arm which circled around her waist, she buried her tear-soaked face into her hand and tried to focus on calming her obnoxious weeping.

The comfort of a mother, the protectiveness of a father…

Shuddering, Madeleine gave up on standing, and plopped down into the snow, sitting only feet above the lifeless corpses of her decaying parents.

Setting her elbows on her knees, Maddie leaned forward and laid her head in her hands, trying to push out the increasing emotion of sadness, dwelling inside of herself.

It was then that she began to hum to a tune, rocking herself back and forth, trying to soothe herself of her mourning and sadness through a song.

Opening her mouth, she began to sing, but her voice cracked and wavered with emotion, flawing her vocals.

"_There's snow on your face  
>And your razor blade<br>The twilight is bruised  
>And there you lie,"<em>

Maddie began to smile as a few more tears fell down her face, continuing the song with a less burdened and cracked voice.

"Sing to me about the end of the world  
>End of these hammers and needles for you<br>We'll cry tonight  
>And in the morning we are new<br>Stand in the sun  
>We'll dry you-,"<p>

Madeleine abruptly stopped singing, her breath catching in her throat from hearing the crunch of snow from behind her and a pair of strong hands pulling her up from the snow. Gasping with surprise, Madeleine craned her neck and looked up to see Johnny's face mixed with pity.

Once she was on her feet, she quickly wiped away the tears that were starting to dry on her cheeks before being pulled into an awkward, but comforting hug.

"It is truly a wonder that you have beautiful vocals, yet you stop singing once you gather an audience. But, unfortunately, I digress; why do you come here to mourn?"

Madeleine's face turned a splotchy shade of red at the unexpected visit from Johnny and the compliment. Of course, she had sung in front of him once before, but she didn't expect him to be so openly kind to her like that.

Embarrassed, Madeleine still clutched onto Johnny in attempt to absorb comfort, desperately trying to push out the sadness and the memories that consumed her mind. The red stains of blood on the floor from her dead parents, running away from her aunt and uncle for freedom and safety, becoming locked up in Johnny's house, growing a friendship…

Nny leaving her, alone in her hotel room with nothing to hold onto except for the voice in her head.

Johnny coming back several days earlier and the kiss they shared.

Madeleine sobbed out another hum, before shutting her eyes and trying to focus on the current emotion that curled and consumed everything else inside of her.

Sighing, Madeleine pulled herself off of Johnny rested her forehead on his chest and shook her head in confusion.

"I miss you; them; everything."

Madeleine sobbed out these words, still shaking her head before turning away from him to stare at the graves.

"my parents, you, everything passes my by. I miss food; I miss hunger. I miss feeling comfort, contentment… certainty of everything around you. I miss last night, and what happened between you and I; but I hate myself for being so selfish. I hate it all."

She had started scoffing at herself again, angry at herself for the possessiveness and the selfishness that thrived beneath her skin, picking at the edges of her scars and burning the shallow, recent cuts under her bandages.

Popping her neck, shoulders and knuckles, trying to relieve the tension building inside, she continued, "I hate missing the things that mean the most. I hate when you hug and kiss me, I hated skating with you and I hated the friendship that grew between us. I hate you, because all I can do is love you, and even that's not enough."

* * *

><p>(JOHNNY'S POV)<p>

Staring at the nape of her neck, Johnny's face grew a sick shade of white as she said these words, ""I hate missing the things that mean the most. I hate when you hug and kiss me, I hated skating with you and I hated the friendship that grew between us. I hate you, because all I can do is love you, and even that's not enough."

_Immortalize… her… the moment…_

Clenching his jaw, Johnny shoved the whispers out of his head as his eyes traced her sharp cheekbone and up to her lips which were formed in a tight, thin line. The skin on her face was a light shade of pink, either from a blush or from the chilly air outside.

"oh…," Madeleine looked back to Johnny, "and thank you for the compliment."

She opened her mouth, letting her shoulders hang loose as she stared at the graves, reciting the song from the beginning.

"_Tell the swine  
>We will make it out alive<br>There's a note in the pages of a book  
>So sleep tonight<br>We'll sleep dreamlessly this time  
>When we awake we'll know that everything's alright,"<br>_

Johnny stared in awe, losing himself in the soft tone of her voice, swaying to the beat of the lullaby.

_"Sing to me about the end of the world  
>End of these hammers and needles for you<em>

Hold on to the world we all remember fighting for  
>There's still strength left in us yet<br>Hold on to the world we all remember dying for  
>There's still hope left in it yet<p>

There's snow on your face  
>And your razor blade<br>The twilight is bruised  
>And there you lie<p>

Sing to me about the end of the world  
>End of these hammers and needles for you<br>We'll cry tonight  
>And in the morning we are new<br>Stand in the sun  
>We'll dry your eyes<p>

Hold on to the world we all remember fighting for  
>There's still strength left in us yet<br>Hold on to the world we all remember dying for  
>There's still hope left in it yet,"<p>

Becoming so fixated on her voice, Johnny closed his eyes and focused on the words, pushing the voice in his head out and fighting off the emotional urges boiling from inside of him.

_"Sing, sing  
>Arise<em>

Arise and be  
>All that you dreamed<br>All that you dreamed

Arise and be  
>All that you dreamed<br>All that you dreamed

Arise and be  
>All that you dreamed<br>All that you dreamed."

Johnny gazed at the side of her face, his actions lost within the sound of her voice. Heat raced through his veins, the mixture of love and lust pulsing through him.

Madeleine turned around with another tear crawling down her face. But before she could wipe it away with a flick of her hand, Johnny got to it first, cupping her face with a hand and wiping it away with a thin thumb.

"There is nothing I can do about your parents. I can sympathize, but that is all I can do. Hunger… I promised to help you with your anorexia, did I not," Johnny frowned as he continued, "I can give you comfort and contentment through time. I preferably thought last night was quite enjoyable to an extent; I had to end it, however, in order to save you."

Johnny smirked and his face flushed at the memory of the kiss, another wave of emotion toppling over him. But the moment lasted shortly before the smile fell back to a frown.

"Selfishness is something to be expected of. It's a natural thing; but to be felt for me… not so much. I do not regret anything that happened yesterday; we had fun talking, skating, and enjoying ourselves. I am, however, confused as to why you hate yourself for loving me."

Johnny brushed his lips against Madeleine's before pulling her back into a hug, "Madeleine, you just told me you love me. I know only one that I love, and one that loves me. We could…I just need some time."

Nny toyed with Maddie's hair which was pulled up messily, but attractively. Her bangs were not tied back, but it looked nice all the same. In response, Madeleine buried her face in his neck, shuddering out a long sigh before pushing herself away from him.

Sniffing, she stepped up to the headstones, and brushed away the cold flakes that hid the epitaphs before she kissed her hands and laid them upon the stones. Turning around, Madeleine stepped off the graves and took one last look at the names before repressing a shudder and looking to the clouds.

It was snowing once again.

Johnny thought of something quick, excited about his sudden planned schedule for the day.

"C'mon, I have someone I want you to meet," Johnny said with a half smile, "er, would you mind if I used your car?"

Madeleine looked from the overcast sky to Johnny with saddened eyes and shrugged her shoulders, "sure, go right ahead." Madeleine's face brightened slightly from the change in topic, ready to relieve herself of the depressing situation between Johnny, Madeleine, and the graves.

The two headed out of the cemetery, hands shoved into the pockets of their jackets with determined faces.

* * *

><p>(10 minutes later)<p>

(MADELEINE'S POV)

The car came to a stop in front of a small house with a snowman sitting in the front lawn. It was just an ordinary house, built with an assortment of reddish-brown bricks and a dark, slanted roof. It was a one story house with a few windows decorating the front and the sides of the home.

Johnny smiled widely as he exited the car, taking the keys out of the ignition and passing them to Madeleine who had a worried look spread on her face.

Maddie never was an expertise at being introduced to people-no, she had NEVER been introduced to anyone, so she was quite frankly afraid and anxious to meet a 'friend' of Johnny's.

Following Johnny to the side of the house, Madeleine became thoroughly confused as to why they would go around.

Moving stealthily past the fence and behind several bushes, Johnny led her to a window, looking through to a bedroom with smiley face wallpaper and a small, twin bed.

Johnny tapped on the window before prying it open and looking in with interest and excitement before whispering,

"Hey, Squee-gee!"

* * *

><p>(AUTHOR'S NOTE:)<p>

Hehe cliff hanger…

Hope you liked this one. It might not be the best of the chappies, but be expecting some more romance to come up! I will NOT ADD ANYTHING MORE THAN A HEATED MAKE OUT. NO MORE than that…

(*) from now on, I will be giving you numbers at the beginning of ever chapter, or the first time that it is Madeleine's point of view for the chapter. **The numbers list her weight.**

Squee-gee…. Madeleine is meeting Squee.

The lyrics… well, I was listening to them as I was writing the chapter… and flyleaf is naturally awesome. I know, some of you might not appreciate flyleaf, or the fact that it might or might not be a Christian band, so stay away from any religious topics in the reviews if you would to respect any readers. Thank you.

DISCLAIMERS!

The song ONLY belongs to Flyleaf. Not me.

Johnny and any JTHM characters belong to Jhonen Vasquez, not me.

I own Madeleine.

I apologize for the OOCness, but you were warned. Do not complain about the romance, because you were warned in the previous chappies.

Do not hurt me, I am just a crazy fangirl writing stories for you sappy romance JTHM readers out there. I hope you like the story so far, be ready for more twists and turns for the romance conflicts!

Oh, and if you would, please, review.

"_Funny thing is, Pinnochio's a real boy, but his wiring's all fucked up."_

_-Johnny the Homicidal Maniac/ Jhonen Vasquez_


	11. Chapter 11

(JOHNNY'S POV)

Sticking his head through the window, Johnny looked around the room and spotted a familiar child lying on a bed with a frightened expression covering his face.

"Hey Squee-gee!"

The child looked over to Johnny, squeaked with horror and brought his covers to his face, his eyes large with terror, "Scary Neighbor Man…-,"

Madeleine whispered softly, "Johnny, don't you think it's a little inconvenient to meet a scarred little boy on Christmas morning?"

Johnny smirked at Madeleine before looking back at Squee with curiousness shining in his eyes, "I want to introduce you to a friend of mine."

Johnny crawled through the window before glancing at the door with worry, remembering the sudden encounter with Squee's father; hiding under his bed before knocking him out with one of Squee's toy robots, and permanently blinding him.

"I-I t-thought you were on a holiday," Squee's eyes trailed back to his window where Madeleine had poked her head in, looking unsurely at the horrified child in the bed before climbing in.

Johnny smiled before sitting at the foot of Squee's bed, starting, "Squee, Madeleine. Madeleine, Todd; but I like 'Squee' better."

* * *

><p>(MADELEINE'S POV)<p>

84 Lbs.

Looking through the window sill, Madeleine got a better view of the room. The wallpaper was a purple color with smiley face pattern strewn upon it. Over to her right was a twin bed with blue and purple bedspread, holding a terrified little boy around seven years of age. He had flat, black hair covering his head and his eyes held the emotion of pure horror, backing into the headrest of his bed and pulling the covers to his face.

A small teddy bear was held tightly in his grasp, staring at the tall man standing in his bedroom.

"I-I t-thought you were on a holiday," the boy said with a squeak afterword. His large eyes shined as he stared at his visitor before whipping his head back to the window to spot Madeleine crawling inside.

There were several, random posters covering the purple walls while a wooden side-desk sat beside the bed which held a small lamp and pink piggy bank sitting atop it.

"Squee, Madeleine. Madeleine, Todd; but I like 'Squee' better."

Johnny looked back to the door while Todd looked over Madeleine with large eyes, uncertain and worrisome at the stranger in his room.

Madeleine gave the boy a warm smile, before greeting the child with a gentle, "hello."

Pushing away her bangs so Squee could see her face more clearly, the boy had calmed down a bit, softening his terrified facial features before looking down to his teddy bear, "hmm?"

Todd put the toy up to his ear, frowning with curiosity before putting it back down into his lap. His eyes flashed to Johnny and back to Madeleine.

Maddie walked up to his bedside and squatted down, setting one hand on the floor while offering the other hand to the child. He was so afraid…

Todd looked back to the stuffed bear before pushing his covers away from him and sitting up, hesitant at the handshake. But after a second of consideration, Squee stretched his arm out and took her hand.

Madeleine looked at the small hand inside of her own, her breath catching in her throat from the tiny size of the hand. Looking to his face, she smiled once again, letting him go before sitting criss-crossed on the wooden floor boards beneath her.

"So you're Squee huh? Nice to meet you. Who's your little friend there," Madeleine gestured to the teddy bear in Todd's lap.

"Sh… Shmee," Squee whispered with worry.

Madeleine grinned and glanced at Johnny who was studying them with curiosity; a small smile lifting the corners of his mouth. Looking back to the scarred boy before her, Madeleine questioned, "can I hold him?"

Todd looked to the bear and shrugged before squeezing the bear in a hug and handing the toy to the strange woman before him.

Taking the bear, Madeleine clutched the stuffed animal, taking it's fingerless hand and shaking it, smiling with pitying innocence.

"Hello there Shmee. I'm Maddie," she laughed, "you're a cute lil' bear-bear, now aren't you?"

Trying to befriend the small, frightened child, Madeleine hugged the bear and smiled before getting a small giggle from Todd. Giving back the teddy, Squee continued to smile before letting his mouth fall into a straight line on his face.

Squee opened his mouth, a curious shine in his eyes, "h-how do you know Scary Neighbor Man," the boy looked over to Johnny who was sitting on the side of his bed, fixated on the two, "are y-… you married?"

The air became still and Maddie stared at Todd, taken aback from the sudden question. Her breath caught in her throat as she looked down and cleared her throat, her lips forming a thin line on her face, trying to put the right words together to answer the awkward question.

Forcing a new smile on her face, Madeleine laughed and her eyes flashed quickly to Johnny and back to Todd, "no… we're not married. But I definitely wouldn't call Johnny, 'Scary Neighbor Man'. Johnny's too nice to be called 'scary'. He's protective, not scary; he's very sweet, but not scary." Madeleine shook her head, letting her smile fall from her face, trying to ignore Johnny's stare burning into her.

Her mind wandered for the slightest second, the image of Johnny holding her, wearing a tuxedo while she was dressed in a gorgeous wedding dress- _No!_

Disgusted at the sudden flash of fantasy, Madeleine quickly pushed out the dream before coming back to reality and screwing her eyes and looking to Squee.

"You're friends?" Todd looked over to Johnny, expecting an answer from him as well before looking back to his brown teddy bear, more comfortable with Madeleine and Johnny, but still wary that Maddie was new to him.

Johnny answered for Madeleine, clearing his throat before he began, "not quite. Madeleine and I are…." Johnny's eyes narrowed as he searched for the right phrasing to his answer, "we're… in a… relationship."

Madeleine bit her lip, hiding the victorious smile that threatened to spill out on her face. An embarrassing shade of pink warmed her cheeks as she glanced to Johnny, whom was already gazing at her with a flushed face.

Todd hung his feet off of his bed, swaying his legs off of the edge as his hands folded politely in his lap. His bear lay beside his hip and his head was tilted to the side. "A relationship…? Y-you mean… you like each other?"

Madeleine nodded her head slowly, flashing her eyes to Johnny who was smiling awkwardly and nodding along as well, before looking back to Todd. "Yes…"

Johnny got off the bed to sit beside Madeleine, spooking Squee and making him squeak with surprise. After Nny was settled on the floor beside Maddie, Johnny pulled his knees up to his chest and hugged them, smiling at Madeleine then to Squee who was studying the couple carefully.

"Say, Squee, where are your paren-," Johnny cleared his throat, before frowning and looking at the door of Squee's room.

Narrowing her eyes at Johnny, Maddie decided to drop the question and talk to Nny about it afterwards. She hoped there wasn't anything wrong with his parents; it was awfully strange that they didn't notice their presence in the house by now…

Johnny continued on with a different topic, "how's Christmas so far, Squee-gee?"

Squee just shrugged his shoulders once again before answering in a dull voice, "no presents. Mommy and Daddy don't like Christmas. No tree, no decorations; just a snowman."

"Don't like Christmas? Oh, come on, there's gotta be SOMEONE who celebrates Christmas with you," Madeleine frowned in confusion and dislike. No celebration for the holidays? Nothing?

"Nope."

Maddie's nose scrunched up and a small thought came across her mind as she thought of a quick present to give. It wasn't much, but it was better than no present at all.

Getting up, Maddie popped her knuckles which made Squee flinch and scoot away from her.

Ignoring this, Madeleine pulled out her wallet from her back jean's pocket and pulled out a twenty dollar bill before sitting down on Squee's bed.

Fingering the old dollar, Maddie folded it in half, holding it up with two fingers before Squee.

"Well, I'm changing that," Madeleine whispered, staring at Todd pitifully, "here's twenty dollars; use it wisely. Get Shmee a new buddy, buy a bunch of candy, get a new poster. Merry Christmas Squee."

Madeleine held out her hand, giving it to Todd who gratefully accepted it. The child looked at the green paper in his hands before gazing at the young woman sitting on his bed in awe.

Getting up, Todd stumbled on his bed before embracing her in a hug, his small arms circling all the way around her dangerously thin torso.

Once again, her breath caught in her throat as Squee whispered with a squeak, "thank you Mo-er… Madeleine."

Since Squee was so small, he cuddled into Madeleine's mid-section, clinging onto her stomach with a small smile stretching across his face.

Madeleine's heart skipped a beat from the hidden spark of affection and protectiveness for the child. Her eyes widened with surprise before misting over with joyful tears gathering into her eyes. Petting Todd's hair, Madeleine held the small child, before looking to Johnny warily. Taking a deep breath, Madeleine looked up and blinked away some embarrassing tears before rubbing Squee's shoulder and letting him go.

He almost called her 'Mom'…

Todd crawled off of Maddie, smiling as he picked up Shmee from his resting place, hugging the small teddy bear and crawling back under his covers. Yawning, Todd rubbed his eye tiredly before looking back to Johnny, not quite as terrified as he was earlier.

The child set the money beside the piggy bank on his side table before resting his head on the pillow, waiting for his visitors to continue.

It was then that Johnny got up and smiled warmly at Squee, "we better get going," Nny looked over to Madeleine who was blinking furiously at the tears that threatened to spill, "c'mon. Merry Christmas Squee-gee!"

Madeleine got up from her spot on the bed and followed Johnny out, taking one last glance at Squee who was watching her with half-closed eyes, "bye Madeleine."

Madeleine bit her lip before replying, "Bye Todd. Merry Christmas and sleep tight."

Exiting the room, Madeleine landed back in the chilly winter weather outside, white snowflakes falling into her hair as she heard the window sill close shut behind her.

Both stayed silent as they walked to the car until Madeleine stopped and looked at Johnny with an awkward face.

"Todd… is….. adorable," Madeleine giggled as she looked back to the house, still standing on the sidewalk.

"But… what's the deal with his parents?" Maddie looked over to Johnny, letting her smile fall to a serious frown, afraid of the truth that was picking at her tongue. She knew already what was wrong… but she couldn't bring herself to the facts.

* * *

><p>(JOHNNY'S POV)<p>

Johnny cleared his throat, letting his own frown wipe off his face and turn into a half smile, "er… could we talk about that tonight? I'll explain Squee's background tonight if…"

Nny rubbed his neck in an awkward fashion, embarrassed at how odd his next few statements would go.

"Er, since we stated that we're in a relationship, I would like to make it official," Johnny looked down to his boots, surprised at his own shyness before looking back to Madeleine's face and locking his murky, grey-green and blue eyes with her clear sky blue eyes.

Losing himself in the sparkle of her eyes, Johnny shook his head, dazed at the shine before continuing, "I was wondering if you wanted to officially go on a 'date' with me. Perhaps coffee tonight; a movie as well? I'll pick you up if you… want."

Johnny's face grew hot as Madeleine tackled Johnny into a hug. Grimacing at the tightness of the hug, and the realization that she was clinging onto him, Johnny wheezed out, "too….tight…"

Maddie immediately let go of him, giving Johnny a second to breathe and rub his sore torso.

After that was said and done, Johnny looked up to find Madeleine resting her chin on her hand, watching him with narrowed eyes and a gentle smile. "I find it amusing when you're so worked up about asking a female out on a date," Madeleine pressed her lips together, holding back a laugh before continuing on, "it's outrageously sweet; yes, coffee and movies sound awesome."

Madeleine took a deep breath before looking back to Squee's house, her eyebrow raised up questioningly.

"I have some errands to run today, and if I remember correctly," Madeleine scoffed, "Squee called you 'Scary Neighbor Man', so I'm guessing you live… there." Madeleine looked right and left before pin-pointing her target, spotting Johnny's shack of a house lying several yards away from Squee's own home.

"I'll see you around five tonight at the apartment. You're fine with picking me up?"

Madeleine knitted her eyebrows together, uncertain, but not really caring whether or not Johnny wanted to pick her up or not.

Nny just nodded and answered, "sounds like a pla-."

Johnny was cut off by Madeleine's lips locking onto his. The moment lasted only a moment before she pulled away and started to walk backwards, waving goodbye, "see you tonight."

She turned around and took off in her car; the sound of ice cracking on the road.

Johnny just watched the car disappear down the road, raising his hand to his mouth which was formed into a thin line before turning back around, shaking his head.

What had he gotten himself into…?

Bowing his head, his two fluffs of hair on his head fell into his face.

The worry picking at his heart stopped as he licked his lips, taking slow steps back to his house while his hands were shoved into his thin, black trench coat.

Cherries…

She tastes like cherries…

* * *

><p>(AUTHOR'S NOTE:)<p>

… I don't think I have a comment for this chapter. All I have to say is that Johnny is completely OOC in this, but Johnny is only like that because of Squee's background and stuff…

Yay… romance and stuff…

Hehe, their first and official date is coming up! I hope you're ready! Beast your eyes for…SAPPY ROMANCE!

Oh, and since they are officially 'dating' (I hate that word; along with boyfriend/girlfriend)

You will find a lot more regular kisses and hugs. Only small ones at that. I will try to keep them to a minimum… try to keep the romance scenes special and stuff… so…yeah.

I am considering the idea of making a third story after this, making it a trilogy.

The third story will be quite short, however… since I have education coming up quite quick… and with the time frame I'm dealing with, I might not even finish this story before highschool comes back up.

I will TRY to finish it, so I am forcing myself to write… and write and write every day for you reader's benefits! Enjoy the fact that I'm writing solely for you… and my fangirlness…

Disclaimer time I guess…:

Johnny and Squee, along with any other JTHM characters belong to Jhonen Vasquez.

I own Madeleine.

_"No chance of salvation- still, one can try to slow down their descent."_

_-Johnny the Homicidal Maniac/ Jhonen Vasquez_


	12. Chapter 12

(MADELEINE'S POV)

_**3:31 P.M.**_

_**83 Lbs.**_

Sitting at the foot of her bed, sat a woman with soggy, shampooed and conditioned hair and an irritated face as she looked at her opened closet. Madeleine's eyes scanned the two racks of clothing that she had, furious at herself for getting so worked up over a date.

Her closet held a rather small amount of clothes, most of which were color coded with a dark and drab mixture of colors. She had chosen several tops, three to be precise, two being long-sleeved and one strapless with a small sweater to add for modesty.

She had fought herself, choosing two pairs of jeans from her dresser cabinets; both of which were denim, but one pair was black, and the other a natural faded blue.

Hissing in aggravation, Madeleine got up from her bedside and popped her neck, disgusted at herself for being so picky over a pair of clothes that she would wear to a date. Johnny had seen her wear several styles and prints, and she knew fairly well that he didn't care about appearances.

Yet, the small voice in the back of her head nudged her onward, keeping Madeleine in her picky state.

Popping her knuckles to ease the inner stress, Madeleine checked her alarm clock on her bedside table, realizing it was a little after 3:30, making her agitation grow.

Pinching the bridge of her nose with her skinny thumb and forefinger, Madeleine contemplated on her choices.

She had her hair, her teeth, her choice of clothes, her makeup….

_FUCK!_

Madeleine cleared her mind, pushing out the old memory of teenage angst before looking at her closet once more. Pursing her lips and narrowing her eyes, Madeleine shook her head and picked out her black jeans, a fitting and rather attractive top and searched the bottom of her closet, realizing she had yet to figure out her shoes.

Grabbing a small pair of ankle-high boots, Maddie backed out of the closet and shut the doors with her foot before setting her outfit on her bed.

Studying her choice of attire, Madeleine smiled, content with the clothing before striding off to her bathroom to fix her hair, makeup and other such needed necessities that were to be added.

* * *

><p>(JOHNNY'S POV)<p>

_**4:46 P.M.**_

Strolling through his home, Johnny fixed the collar of his new, sleek black trench coat while his eyes wandered the room around him, desperately trying to put Reverend Meat's words into sense.

"So, you like this girl, eh?"

Forcing himself to keep a straight face, ignoring the slight warmth that rushed to his face, Johnny looked away from the burger boy before answering with a sigh, "…yeah."

Looking at the cracked mirror in his room, tracing several pieces of himself through the broken shards of glass that reflected back to him. His teeth were cleaned and the two bits of hair on his head were combed, but not styled any differently while his clothing was changed to a new pair of black jeans, a long-sleeved horizontal black and white shirt and a new trench coat that he had bought earlier that day.

Johnny smirked at the memory of strangling the cashier with Christmas lights; damn employee tried to smuggle money out of him…

"Her name? What does she look like?"

The burger boy smiled hungrily at Johnny, a spark of interest shining in it's eyes.

Looking over to the talking decoration, Johnny fidgeted with the cuff of his sleeve, wary and anxious to answer the plastic boy before glancing at the clock on his wall, surprised at the time he had left until he picked his date up.

"Madeleine."

"Realize these emotions; they are what keep you sane," the burger boy said as Johnny exited his house, boots crunching in the cold, compacted snow underfoot.

It was eight minutes later that Johnny had driven his car to Madeleine's apartment parking lot. The snow had started falling again, and the carolers were out, hunting down any people who wanted to listen to their vocals.

Looking at the radio in his car, the time listed: 5:57 P.M.

Shivering with uneasiness and a small spark of excitement that bubbled up from within, Johnny pulled the keys out of the ignition and got out of the car.

Tilting his head to the side, Johnny contemplated on whether or not to climb through her window like he usually did, or go up to the doorbell.

Choosing the more appropriate choice, Johnny trudged his way toward the door, keeping his head down as the bitter wind threw needles at his skin.

Once he stepped up to her doorstep, Johnny hesitated, staring at the button before pressing the doorbell.

Another shiver of worry twisted and squirmed inside of his stomach as Johnny tried to push away an unsure face. Never had he ever allowed himself the luxury, no, curse of emotions. Although Maddie was an exception as a human, and although she detested the society and hated the filth that thrived on the planet just as he did, it gave Johnny no absolution as to why he felt emotion for her.

He hated giving in to passion, to love. Yet, he loved it, confusing himself all the more. It left Johnny in wonder, the sudden reaction of sickening warmth that stabbed at his chest when he was with her. It left him questioning why he accepted the warmth of an embrace, or the sudden contact of a kiss; he couldn't understand why he felt so… so… protective, so completely content around her.

The door opened, and Johnny felt his breath be knocked out of him from excitement and surprise.

Madeleine looked… damn; she looked gorgeous.

Never had she accentuated her figure around Johnny, she just wore regular clothes around him, not really caring about her appearance; but tonight was different.

Her hair was kept down, small curly locks hanging at her face while her bangs were pinned to the side. Tiny red studs hid behind the black curls, being the only jewelry she had on her. She had dark eye shadow and eyeliner at the rims of her eyes, along with mascara. Her face was cleaned from any oil, and her mouth was formed into a small smile, shining lightly with gloss.

Her clothes were relatively simple; black jeans and a white, strapless top with a black floral design at the bottom. A thin, opened grey sweater hung off her shoulders, and a small pair of boots covered her feet. She had another jacket on, but Johnny guessed it was just for the cold winter weather.

Peeling his eyes off of Madeleine, trying desperately not to stare, Johnny took his eyes downcast, clearing his throat and gritting his teeth from the burning sensation on his face and inside his chest. Looking back up, Nny locked his eyes with Maddie's, and said, "you look…damn; you look beautiful."

* * *

><p>(MADELEINE'S POV)<p>

Taking a deep breath, Madeleine opened the door to her apartment to find Johnny standing on her doorstep. The color drained from his face as he looked at her, making Maddie smile out of embarrassment.

Johnny cleaned up _good._

Nny wore a new pair of black jeans, an extremely thin long-sleeved shirt with small, horizontal black and white lines as a pattern. A relatively new, long trench coat covered his body and his bulky, steel-toed boots held his feet; a different side of him.

His two tufts of hair on his head were combed, but still stuck out, and his expression was none other than baffled.

Hmm… dare she admit that he looked rather handsome?

Madeleine studied Johnny, who then looked at his boots, a dark strip of red lining his cheeks before looking back up to her. Both were quiet for several moments before Johnny whispered, "you look… damn; you look beautiful."

Saving herself from choking, Madeleine cleared her throat, slowing down the sudden race of her heartbeat before turning off the light-switch and walking out, locking the door to her apartment.

Her own face had turned to a slight shade of magenta before she looked back to Johnny, only centimeters from his face. Playing along, Madeleine answered with a nervous chuckle, "thanks Johnny. You look pretty handsome yourself."

The two had continued on towards Johnny's car in silence, both enjoying each other's company, but not willing to spark up a conversation just yet.

It was several minutes later, driving in Johnny's car when Madeleine decided to break the silence and think of something to talk about, "so… it's official. We're… in a relationship."

"Yes," Johnny assured her, nodding his head as he pulled up to the curb in parallel parking.

Madeleine followed Johnny to the old coffee shop in which they visited once before, so long ago. Surprised at Johnny whom was holding the door open for her, Madeleine pressed her lips together before she muttered out a soft, "thanks," continuing inside the café.

Glancing around the room, she noted that it was still the same; booths, lamps hanging over the tables giving the area below a milky glow. Red carpet covered the floors while cream color lined the walls.

The café was empty except for an elderly waiter whom was reading a book at the bar. The man noticed the couple, and said gruffly, "seat yourselves; I'll be with you shortly."

Madeleine headed to the booth that they had sat in several months ago, nostalgia and memories flooding back to her as she sat down in the squeaky booth. Shrugging off her winter jacket, Madeleine adjusted her outfit, pulling at the sleeves of her thin sweater.

Picking up a menu from the side of the booth, Madeleine bit her lip and flipped it over, listing the beverages they served in the café: coffee, mocha, latte, water, soft drinks, iced tea…

Her eyes traveled farther up the menu, spotting the main entrees and appetizers.

Maddie bit the edge of her tongue as a sharp stab of hunger thrashed in her stomach, letting out a cry of pain. Wincing, Madeleine's nose scrunched up in distaste as Johnny noticed this.

"We could split something; by the looks of it, you haven't eaten since yesterday."

Looking up to her companion, Madeleine sighed knowing full well that it was no use to argue against Johnny on food. Looking tiredly at the list of burgers, dinners and sandwiches, she grimaced at the temptation.

Passing the menu to Johnny she pointed her finger to her decision, "we could half the chicken sandwich. Does that sound okay with you?"

Nny nodded as the waiter came up to the table. The waiter wore an old, torn apron with a ketchup stain on the seam. His young, bright eyes shined with interest and memory as he smiled at the two, completely oblivious at the thought of a couple spending Christmas night at the café.

"Can I start you off with some drinks," the old man said in a husky tone.

Nodding for Johnny to go first, Madeleine looked back to the menu while Johnny ordered a Cherry Fizz-whizz. Straining herself to keep herself from smiling at Nny's interesting choice of beverage, Madeleine skimmed over the list once more before shrugging her shoulders and looking to the waiter.

"Coffee; best shit ever besides Fizz-whizz."

Adding slight sarcasm to the answer, Maddie smiled and propped her elbows onto the table before her, lacing her fingers together and gazing politely out the window. Her eyes scanned the outside; snowflakes falling onto the icy pavement below…

The sun was setting, turning the clouds into a darker, drearier shade, veiling the city in shadow. Personally, Madeleine found nighttime more suitable to her, but also more emotional. She found that she could express herself easier or more deeply through the darker state of the sky.

Her eyes landed on a couple, talking to a group of friends on the other side of the road. The woman, being in her early twenties was gorgeous; brown eyes, pale skin shade, and beautiful, glossy blonde hair. Beautiful; flawless in all her perfections.

A man, who she considered was her boyfriend or husband, had his arms circled around her torso and chin on her shoulder, completely content with his partner. He, himself, was rather decently attractive, but never would she think of dating someone that seemed so… unlike herself.

The scene, however, with the guy's hands wrapped around the girl in a protective, yet romantic stance was adorable. Dragging her eyes away from the couple, Maddie looked to Johnny.

Madeleine just couldn't grasp the thought of being a girlfriend. It was always a dream that she fantasized over when she allowed herself the curse of mulling over childish imaginations. But for a fantasy to come true, someone who… cared?

"What?"

Realizing Madeleine was staring at him, the sudden fantasy that Johnny would hold her that way disgusted her.

_Dreams; a flee to escape the reality which holds you back. Fantasies; lies to mask the emotion that keeps you from tipping over the edge._

Shaking her head in denial, Madeleine looked downward, desperately trying to keep herself from looking back to the window.

_Love, depression, happiness, contentment, anger, lust, passion, resentment, yournotworththeattention-hopelessness-_

_No no no no no no no no no no… shhhh! The noise! Shhhh!_

"Nothing. Just… no, never mind."

* * *

><p>(JOHNNY'S POV)<p>

Johnny's eyebrows knitted together in confusion and worry as he noticed Madeleine staring at him. Shifting uncomfortably in his seat, Johnny looked to the window, trying to spot what Madeleine had seen.

"What?"

Johnny looked back to the window, eyeing the neon that stood out against the windows of the nearby restaurants, the streetlights lighting up the ice beneath, the people standing on the other side of the road…

It was then that he spotted a couple standing in a rather romantic, yet, innocent pose. The man embracing the woman from behind, had his head lain on her shoulder, getting a rather approving response from the woman; a smile.

Was that what she was staring at?

Johnny's vision blurred as his mind wandered back to several months earlier, before he had committed suicide.

Only blurry glimpses of the memory caught his eye, flashing inside of his head as his own words repeated in his head_**, "see, I don't want to touch anything. I don't want to feel anyone because I don't care about anyone like that, and to touch it is disgusting for all of its emptiness. It only reminds me of the emptiness…"**_

The blankness of the memory was sealed, ending in closure as Madeleine cleared her throat to gain attention. Johnny whipped his head, looking at her with wide, unfocused eyes before realizing that the waiter had come up to the end of the booth, waiting patiently.

The drinks that they had previously ordered less than five minutes ago were placed before them, coffee before Madeleine and Cherry Fizz-whizz before himself.

Madeleine's eyes flashed to Johnny, to the elderly waiter, and back to him before glancing down back at the menu before her. Her flushed face stared at the folded paper before she pressed her lips into a thin line across her pale face, indicating her unsure choice before opening her mouth, "We're going to half the chicken sandwich. Er… fries… on the side I guess."

The waiter sketched this down in his notepad before smiling and answering, "I'll have that right out for you. My name is Harold; just holler if you need anything," he said with a wink before walking off.

Both Maddie and Nny watched the man with narrowed eyes before turning back to look at each other nervously. The music from the radio had been playing in the background as white noise for any entering customers.

Of course, they were regular carols, but they were being sung by popular music artists. The current song, however, was a rather slow, but comforting song, sung by Michael Buble; Grown Up Christmas List.

Maddie's tongue traced her teeth as the muscles in her neck tensed, suddenly remembering what had happened earlier in the morning and the sudden travel to Squee's house. Taking this as an advantage of getting away from the awkwardness between them, Madeleine whispered quietly, "so… Squee. Why… what's the deal? Fill me in on Todd. He's so… adorable, but… he's seems terrified of every move I make; so jumpy."

Johnny leaned back in his seat as if to set himself comfortable; this was going to be a LONG night.

(AUTHOR'S NOTE:)

Ehh... boring chapter I guess. but I WILL SATISFY YOU'RE MURDEROUS NEEDS SOON! soon... I apologize for the MUSHINESS and Johnny's sudden fill of OOCness. I just... can't help myself when it comes to fluffy Christmas stories.

When you ask for small fluff... I give you LOOOTS OF SAPPINESS.

Ahh... writers block; gotta love it.

Too lazy to fill you with a large author's note, so let's get to the point.

Disclaimer:

Michael Buble is a true music artist. He does not belong to me, along with Johnny or any other JTHM characters. They belong to Jhonen Vasquez(besides Michael B.)

I own Madeleine and the old waiter dude called 'Harold'.

So... review. I will add more, interesting stuff in the next chapters, but I don't know how soon I will update. I will try as soon as possible, but my schedule is getting out of hand,

Please excuse my late updates.

Cliffhanger... muahahaha.

**"The screws are coming undone, mother... you can't stop it." **

**Sickness/ Jhonen Vasquez**


	13. Chapter 13

(MADELEINE'S POV)

(30 Minutes Later)

Johnny's voice rang in her head as they slowly made their way out of the café. Madeleine had eaten half of her half of the sandwich, instantly skipping the fries as she calculated the calories into her head.

_Burger bun(half): 88 calories._

_Chicken(half): estimated to 121 ca-._

Johnny had answered her question, having taken a few seconds to figure out how to discuss his answer.

"Squee is just… despised by his parents. His mother spends the majority of her time alone, somewhere, stoned on medication. She usually ignores Todd's existence, and let's his father deal with him. His father on the other hand…"

Madeleine hung her head, shadowing a few of her curly, black locks into her face as to not get distracted by any useless attractions. Neon lighting up the snow and reflecting off the windows of passing stores, the clouds covering parts of the sky which was gradually growing darker with the sun setting, and any pedestrians pass them by on the streets, who whispered cruel things to themselves about self-centeredness and judgmental critics.

"His father resents Squee's very own existence, and I find it quite repulsive to know that his very own parents hate him… heh, not that long ago, I visited Squee-gee, but his father had interrupted our talk. I hid under his bed and can testify to what his father had said to him. I, however, wacked the man with a toy robot on the head, and permanently blinded him. Of course… he could easily strengthen his hearing senses, and I would have to deal with that, along with him improving his sensitivity to vibrations…"

By now, Johnny was ranting, distracting Madeleine from realizing where they had set foot. Looking about, Madeleine noticed that they were now sheltered in a mall, exiting a small parking garage just beside the entrance.

After having entered the heart of the mall, they passed several popular stores holding pop and hip-hop music, the latest trends in clothing styles, and the usual candy store. Johnny, however, led her past all this, taking her further into the mall until they hit the food court which was neighboring the movie theater.

The large clearing was filled with colorful booths, metal tables with chairs sealing off their edges, and an assortment of fast food restaurants lining the walls. The floors were tiled, but designed as a map, listing road-ways and routs that you would usually find on a state atlas; unusual, but interesting.

"But I digress," Johnny said at last, having stepped up to the movie theater attendant who stood behind a glass wall, with a speaker attached to the bottom. At waist length, the glass had stopped, and was cut off by stone, with an opening at the bottom.

Madeleine narrowed her eyes and looked at Johnny questioningly, forgetting that part of their 'date' was for Johnny to take her to a movie. However, Maddie never had the care to wonder what Johnny watched, or enjoyed for entertainment; it never crossed her mind what Johnny had done for fun.

"You pick," Madeleine said in a hesitant voice. She didn't want to force anything onto Johnny, and considering the fact that they were old enough to watch 'R' movies, Madeleine wasn't very fond of the fact that there might or might not have a sudden sex scene in it. The very thought of sitting there with Nny, averting her eyes from the screen and trying not to focus on how awkward the situation would be, was completely mortifying.

So, passing the choice to Johnny, Madeleine shuddered and said, "frankly, I would MUCH rather you choose the choice of movie," Maddie cleared her throat before looking at the list, eye twitching with worry as she scanned the titles.

After a few moments of consideration, Johnny chose his pick, ordering two tickets for the movie. Happy with the choice since Madeleine had seen the other seven movies to the series, excitement pricked under her skin. Of course, she wasn't much for fantasy and fiction, but there was something about wizards and witches that made her feel better about the decision. The story about some young wizard with a scar on his forehead trying to defeat evil was rather interesting; far better than awkward romance movies.

Heading to the concession stands, Madeleine walked up to the line, standing in a defensive position: arms crossed over her chest, standing straight, and her head cocked to the side, eyes scanning the choices of junk food.

Gummy bears, junior mints, sour gummy worms, popcorn, Coke, Dr. Pepper, Sprite, Cherry Fizz-Whizz, an assortment of flavors for Brainfreezies, and more. Madeleine took no attention to the light spark of hunger in her stomach, for her mind was pre-occupied with the fact that someone had laced their arms around her torso, hugging her from behind.

Looking down and almost jumping from surprise, Madeleine noticed Johnny's arms holding her protectively, but sweetly. Her stomach churned and she then felt Nny rest his chin on her head; her whole body turning hot from embarrassment and a sudden burst of emotion.

Choosing to accept the romantic act, Madeleine loosened her crossed arms, lying them upon Nny's, and forcing the muscles in her neck to lose their tension.

Focusing her eyes, Madeleine looked back to the list, blushing furiously as she remembered the couple that she and Johnny had spotted earlier at the café; adorable.

A small, unintentional smile crept up on her face as she looked back down, deciding to trace her fingers along Johnny's pale knuckles, toying with his hands. Sick; it reminded her of those sappy, spanish romance soap-operas you found on television… so sappy!

Biting her lip in an awkward fashion, Madeleine unraveled herself from Johnny, but kept his hand in hers, both of them noticing that they were in the front of the line now. Pulling out her wallet from her pocket, Madeleine dug through the leather, finding a ten dollar bill, but this was pushed away, seeing that Johnny had already set money on the counter before them.

Grumbling with dislike, Madeleine shoved the wallet back into her jean's pocket before looking back up to the list while Johnny ordered, "a small, Cherry Brainfreezy, and…" Johnny looked to Maddie, who then continued on for him, "make that two Cherry Branfrieezies."

_Inhale the poison; toxic waste. Let it consume you, slowly…_

Grinding her teeth, Madeleine popped her neck, desperately trying to push away the voice echoing within the emptiness.

As if on cue, her body reacted, taking the brainfreezy while Madeleine's head fought against the voice. Her body acted for her, disguising the mental brawl inside of her head.

_Pill… swallow the pill and let it drug the silence that surrounds you._

Madeleine traced small circles in the side of Johnny's hand as they made their way to the movie screen, finding their seats and getting comfortable, tiredly watching the commercials pass by. The noise had died down some, leaving Madeleine beside herself and Johnny.

The screen had passed; the colors blurring and mixing into one another, forming interesting pictures and forming people, backgrounds, scenes. The sounds and music forming into one, giving words and dialogue to the moving picture; something beautiful.

* * *

><p>(2 hours and 11 minutes later)<p>

Madeleine stared at the screen, tears rolling down her face as the credits rolled down the screen. It was a generally sad, but at the same time, uplifting movie. It, having been the last movie to the series, was it in itself sad, but it was a decent movie.

Yawning, Madeleine, quickly checked her phone for the time; 8:05 P.M.

Shrugging her shoulders, she realized that she was still holding Johnny's hand, making her inside's churn once again. Pulling her hand away, Madeleine sighed and got up from her seat, stretching her arms above her head, popping her shoulder blades in the process.

Following Johnny out of the theater, her eyes widened and she stopped, realizing she needed to use the restroom.

"Johnny, er, I'll be right back…," she said as she hurried off to the women's restroom.

* * *

><p>(3 minutes later)<p>

Exiting the public restroom, Madeleine sighed, now relieved, but stressed too, realizing that she had lost Johnny. Looking about the hall, she caught no sight of the homicidal maniac, so she decided to wait another minute.

Her eyes caught sight of a few men, staring her down; drunken people looking for trouble. Sniffing carelessly, Madeleine looked away, popping her knuckles before searching the area again for the familiar date.

Narrowing her eyes, Maddie let her hands fall to her side as she decided to search for him, still aware of the gang following her.

Licking her lips, Madeleine huffed out a hiss of aggravation, entering the food court and letting the smell of grease fill her nose. Irritated now, and a tad bit worried about the gang following her, Madeleine frantically searched the area, getting no end to her hunt.

Reminder number one: get Johnny a cell phone.

Quickening her pace, Madeleine strode through the mall, keeping her eye out for Johnny as she scanned the stores around her. No sign of Nny was to be found, leaving Madeleine alone. Chewing her lip, Madeleine exited the mall, entering the parking garage outside.

The lights of the concrete lot lit up the area precariously, leaving small areas in complete darkness.

"Johnny," Madeleine called out loudly. Her voice was shaky, now afraid of the men following her. Glancing behind her every few seconds, Madeleine studied them.

Two men were rather buff, while one was a little lighter skinned. The threesome group were mostly independent, meaning that they kept to themselves, not talking much as they followed her.

The leader, Madeleine guessed, was the smallest, but he wore a ripped, white t-shirt, a pair of dark jeans and a jacket while the other two wore jackets as well, but different colored shirts and jeans. Their determined faces shone in the dim light of the parking lot as they gained up on Madeleine; she could hear their breaths now.

"Hey sweetie… you seem lost; need some help honey," the leader spoke in a slurred voice while the one on his right muttered something about her ass. The other man on the leader's left snickered in response, showing off his stained, yellow teeth.

Frowning, Madeleine dug into the pocket of her jacket, instantly remembering she had left her car keys in her apartment; it had her pepper spray on the chain.

"Damn, that is one sweet ass you got… wanna taste _that_…," one of them said. They were only feet away from her now. She could smell the dope and Meth on them; _RUN!_

"Get away from me, no, NO, FUCK OFF," Madeleine said as one of the larger men grabbed her arm, and then her breast. Picking out her apartment key with her other hand, she placed it between her fingers and threw a hard punch at the man, jabbing the edge of the key into his cheekbone.

The man flew back from the contact, but did not fall as another man took a hold of her, grabbing her wrists while the man with the wound in his face had realized what had happened. One hand covered the bloody hole while the other fell to his side, curled into a tight fist.

"You bitch…," he said as he heavily punched her face which was bound to leave a nasty bruise. He then hurried and kicked her feet out from behind, forcing her to fall onto her knees.

The sudden contact with the hard pavement underneath made Madeleine cry out in pain, struggling to free herself from the men's grip. Getting another punch in the face from the leader, Madeleine cried out once more in pain before she was carried out of sight, behind a pillar, away from the lot.

Staring the leader down, Madeleine had started to scream bloody murder as she struggled, fighting against the men's grip, "YOU FAGGOTS, LET ME GO! AG-," her mouth was then occupied with cloth.

It was then that she was shoved up, against a wall, defenseless and slowly being stripped of her clothes: jacket, sweater, strapless shirt, bra, all taken off of her and lying in a useless heap on the ground only several feet away from her.

Painful tears fell from her eyes as her sobs were muffled and meaningless. Continuing to struggle, she continued to moan and shriek into a cloth that was shoved into her mouth, struggling and fighting with all her might against the men. The two men who held her to the wall licked her face, their breath sour with alcohol and dope.

The leader then grabbed the button of her jeans before leaning to her ear, "let's have some fun…," before snickering and unbuttoning and unzipping her pants.

Weeping, Madeleine's eyes were sore and she could feel the chill of winter bite at her legs; no… no no no…

She heard quickened footsteps beside her, but she dared not look; most likely it would be another rapist, ready to shove his dick inside of her, ready to ruin her life, or possibly, if she was lucky enough, end it.

"MADELEINE!"

Her ears picked up the sound of shrieking and gurgles.

_Thuk! Thump, thump, thud. _

The restrains on her arms and legs had been let go, but her legs would not support herself, for she was beaten and worn, making her fall face first onto the pavement below, knocking her unconscious.

* * *

><p>(AUTHOR'S POV)<p>

Hmm… yes, she was VERY close at being raped… why was she not? Well… I don't want to make it graphic, and it would kind of take away from the story.

Yes, I did add Harry Potter in there(don't sue me, Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling, not me). I added the movie in there because I needed it to be fairly… mellow as you could say it. (Good movie by the way… for any HP fans out there who have NOT seen any of the movies… do it.)

But… this is not a story about HP, this is a story about Johnny and Maddie… what happens next? You will find out soon!

You might ask: WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU ADD A RAPE SCENE IN THERE?

Me, well… I add crazy stuff. It's just the way things roll.

Johnny belongs to Jhonen Vasquez along with any other JTHM characters. I own Madeleine and the Three perverts in this story.

Don't hate me… I just like to write drama…

Review? Please?

_**"Why don't you let go!"**_

_**-Sickness/ Jhonen Vasquez**_


	14. Chapter 14

(JOHNNY'S POV)

Sitting on the bench, Johnny waited for Madeleine to finish up her business in the restroom. It had been several minutes, almost fifteen to be exact, that he had been sitting there, patiently waiting for Maddie to show up.

Becoming fidgety, Johnny toyed with his thumbs, preoccupying his mind before he gave up, getting up from his spot on the bench before looking out over the crowd of people wandering the hallway.

Clearing his throat, Johnny stood beside the women's restroom and looked at his watch before noticing a woman walking up to the door.

"Excuse me, er, I'm looking for a fr- I mean, my girlfriend… her name is Madeleine; could you check to see if she's still in there," Johnny gestured to the restroom before getting an assuring response from the woman. She nodded, and walked in before calling out, "Madeleine," before walking back out to deliver the news to Johnny.

The stranger shook her head and suggested that she might be in the food court. Taking this advise, Johnny left with a courteous nod, hurrying off to the clearing.

Narrowing his eyes, Johnny scanned his eyes through the crowd of people, getting no response in finding Madeleine. Pursing his lips, Johnny left the area quickly, frantic to find Maddie and pushing out the sight of a familiar gang that he had seen earlier in the theater.

Frowning with dislike, Johnny pondered on where Madeleine could have run off to. It wasn't usual for her to run off somewhere like that. Johnny knew that she could fully take care of herself, but a prick of uncertainty filled his veins, nudging him onward to find her.

Eyes wide and wary, Johnny continued his search through the mall until a thought came into his mind; perhaps she had gone to the car, safe.

Safe… she had to be; Johnny had exited the mall now, entering a dimly lit, mostly abandoned parking garage. Looking around, Nny caught the faint sound of a whimper and a sob along with slapping and other muffled and mute noises.

Looking to his left, he continued to hear strained laughter and slurred chuckles, while he heard the sound of a zipper being pulled.

Gaping, Johnny pleaded to himself that it was not what he thought it was. Sensing movement further to his left, behind a pillar, Johnny ran to the concrete structure before looking around it and losing his breath from the disturbing sight.

Madeleine, being mostly nude, was pressed up against a wall with her arms and legs bound and spread out beside her. Several red marks, probably where slaps and punches had been thrown, dotted her face and body while small yellow beginnings of bruises lined her arms and thin torso.

Two burly men held her to the wall, licking at her face and fondling with her breasts while the smaller man before her was fumbling with the button and zipper of her jeans, slowly shrugging them off of her hips.

Infuriated, disgusted, and completely mortified at the gang of rapists, Johnny's face became numb as he stared at the scene before him; the increasing pressure of adrenaline and livid anger pulsing through him, "MADELEINE!"

Instantly, Johnny reached down to his boots and pulled out two, nine inch blades, glinting lightly in the murky light surrounding them. Chucking a single knife at the leader, the blade slipped through the side of the torso before sending him to the ground. A single stab, however, didn't kill him; it just left him screaming and crying out in agony and surprise.

Johnny's pupils grew smaller as he eyed the other two men who had seen this happening, still holding Madeleine to the wall. His eyes roamed the attackers, mouth twisted in pure disgust, furious.

Stomping onto the leader's back, Johnny pulled out the blade before throwing the other two at the men that held Madeleine to the wall. Hitting both of the rapists in their chest and shoulder blades, they fell to the floor, also screaming and hollering with pain.

Madeleine, being unable to support herself, fell to the floor, hitting her head on the hard pavement below. One of the wounded men, however, was under her; somewhat cushioning her fall, but the contact with the ground still knocked her unconscious.

Gritting his teeth, Johnny turned around and found the leader slowly getting up, crying out in pain as he shuffled onto his knees. Nny, seeing this, kicked him in the side, breaking the man's rib's and forcing him to fall once again.

Bending down to the pervert, Johnny set one hand on the floor, while his other hand grasped the handle of a single blade which had small streaks of blood lining the edge and dripping onto the pavement.

"Such a shame, seeing the society it is now be morphed into something so unstable and frightening. Such a shame, realizing what it is to live in this shit-smeared life and see it all fall before your eyes as you witness something so horrid, so mortifying. Such a shame it is to see you and your fellow faggots be so worthless… along with all the other ignorant fucks that accompany you…"

Johnny chopped off the man's arms in a few quick movements, following with several deep gashes in his chest cavity before letting the blade tear away at the man's jaw and rip it away from the skull.

Mute wailing came from the rapist as blood gurgled up from his throat.

Gathering himself up from the ground, Johnny made his way to the other two men who were rocking themselves on the floor, little pools of dark crimson flowing from the deep wounds in their chests and shoulders.

Picking out the other blade, now holding both blades in both hands, Johnny's face contorted into an expression of hate before stabbing both men brutally in the throats, cutting off their air supply.

Kicking away the dead corpses, Johnny wiped the smeared blood on his hands and arms on his coat before taking his eyes to the unconscious woman on the freezing floor beside him.

All her clothes were stripped from her except her jeans and underwear, leaving her partially naked; her exposed skin making Johnny frown all the more as a dose of unexpected and unintentional arousing came upon him.

Clearing his throat, Johnny looked over to the messy pile of clothes lying in a lump on the floor, several feet away from them. Glancing back to Madeleine, Johnny went over to the clothes and crumpled them into a ball before going back to Maddie, naturally keeping his eyes from roaming over her chest.

Her face was covered in red marks while some places on her body were growing darker shades of brown and purple, stating that she had been punched. Her torso was the same, skinny with the rib indentations running across her stomach while lower on her hips you could see dark red spots, most likely fingerprints. Her hair was tangled somewhat, and the bangs that were held back by bobby pins were messy and undone while her beautiful makeup was smudged and runny from tears.

Simply pitiful.

Taking off his own coat, Johnny wrapped Madeleine in his trench coat, covering the majority of her body. But seeing that Maddie was still unconscious, Johnny had only one option: carrying her.

Putting the ball of clothes under his arm, Johnny scooped Madeleine into her arms, easily carrying her to the car, but wary and absolutely shocked at what he had just witnessed.

If Johnny hadn't been there in time, Madeleine would have been raped and possibly killed.

Looking down, Johnny felt a slight prick of depression and possessiveness as he wiped away a tear from Madeleine's face. How could someone so innocent, so quiet, so perfect in her own way be hurt like that? How could anyone be content with the idea of violating someone; it was repulsive to even suggest the idea.

But violating Madeleine in that way? Fuck no. They deserved to be exterminated; gruesomely.

It was then that Johnny planted a quick kiss on her forehead before setting her in the back seat of his car before shuddering to himself about the emotions that pounded through his head while the sight of the rape scene filtered through his thoughts.

What has reality become?

* * *

><p>(MADELEINE'S POV)<p>

_**85 lbs.**_

Her eyelids weighed tons as she pried her sore eyes open. It took a couple of moments to get focus into view until her mind could finally grasp that she was lying down on something soft. Looking forward, her mind created the image of a dark, textured ceiling, shadowed and comforting to the eyes.

Picking up her head, Madeleine immediately regretted her decision as the blood in her head thumped against the walls of her skull, making the sound ring ring ring through her eardrums. Squeezing her eyes tight, Maddie grit her teeth, before taking a deep breath and licking her dry lips, testing the muscles in her hands.

Flexing her finger joints, Madeleine popped her knuckles and put her hands before her face, twisting her wrists and bending her elbows; deciding to do the same with her legs.

Propping her feet up, she noticed that she had not been wearing socks, letting her feet feel a fuzzy, warm texture beneath her. Rolling her head to the side, she noticed she was lying on a couch, the fluffy, worn material comforting and supporting her back.

Taking another try to push herself up, Madeleine propped her arms up behind her, immediately getting the response of another rush of blood to her head. Her arms gave out from soreness and tenderness, and Madeleine grunted with surprise as she fell back into the pillow. Bringing her arms to her face, Madeleine spotted several dark bruises and scratches lining up and down her arms, despite the nasty scars on her forearms. (She had caused those specific scars upon herself.)

Letting her arms fall on her torso, she nearly gasped in pain before realizing that the majority of her chest was bare except for a long trench coat that covered her breasts. Sighing with irritation, Madeleine craned her neck to where she could see her stomach.

More purple and black bruises covered her thin stomach while her ribs stood out against her skin. Her hips were covered with the trench coat, and her jeans hung low on her hips, button unbuttoned and zipper unzipped.

Gaping at herself, Madeleine let her head thump back against the cushions, trying to focus on the silence surrounding her. Where was she? What…

It was then that she had remembered the rape attempt in the mall parking garage. The three men stripping her of her clothes and coming close to losing her virginity to rape. The sudden interruption of someone, but Madeleine didn't know who it was because it was then that she fell and everything had faded to black.

Looking back to her body, she frowned as she tried to recall where she had seen the coat before. She recognized it from somewhere, but…

Was she saved?

Was she dead?

Where the hell was she?

Her ears picked up the sound of muffled talking and pacing.

Dragging her eyes to the room, she could see that she was in a rather empty room with a television set, a book case, and a small side table which was made of wood. The television was old-fashioned, with antennas, but it was turned off at the moment. The bookshelf held an assortment of books; some covers dusty, and some seemed that it had been read or touched recently.

The small side table sitting beside her head had a small lamp which was lit. It cast off a small amount of light, brightening up only a small portion of the room and lighting up what else there was on the table.

Maddie's eyes wandered to the bottle of pills, but her eyes were too unfocused to read the label on the tube.

Sighing, Madeleine pushed herself against the armrest until she had completely supported her back. Popping her shoulder blades, Madeleine reached out her arm and took the bottle after rubbing her eyes and shaking her head.

Adjusting her eyes to the light, Madeleine looked back to the table to find a small note and a glass of water sitting beside it.

Taking the letter, Madeleine squinted her eyes to read the messy hand writing before she could finally decipher it.

_Take two pills._

_I know you're probably confus-(scratched out)_

_I need to l-(scratched out)_

_I'm in the living room if you need me._

_-Johnny_

A light bulb flicked on in Madeleine's head, suddenly remembering where she had seen the trench coat. Happy that she could remember and finally piece together the mess in her head, Madeleine's relief faded just as quickly as she put together more of the puzzle.

She was naked except for her jeans. Johnny had found her, saved her, and had _seen_ her exposed. Johnny had taken her to shelter, and gave her his new trench coat._ A homicidal maniac had saved her life._

Folding the bit of paper, Madeleine set the note back onto the table and unscrewed the cap of drugs, pouring out the suggested amount of pills into her hand before popping them into her mouth and swallowing them down with the water set out on the table.

Putting back the bottle of pills, Madeleine took another deep breath before pulling her legs over the side of the sofa, propping her elbows onto her extremely sore knees, and holding her head up as her thin, pale fingers tangled in her hair.

Focusing on the sounds outside of the door, Madeleine realized it was Johnny's voice, muttering and rising out of emotion as if he was talking to someone.

"…Reverend… I can't… this anymore," Nny's voice was mostly inaudible, making Madeleine strain herself to hear him. Rising her eyebrow out of curiosity, Madeleine tested her weight on her legs, slowly but surely getting up.

Slowly, Madeleine started to walk over to the door, watching the light from the other side of the door move as Johnny paced around the other room, outside her door.

Pulling the coat around her torso, Madeleine could hear clearly now that she was closer to the door, and a little more aware of her surroundings.

"…going to be raped! Could you possibly comprehend the shit this society thrives in? Madeleine didn't DESERVE that disturbing treatment from a couple of ignorant dicks! Meaty…. Guy, how am I supposed to love her if I can't even protect her the right way?"

She heard a sniff before hearing another voice answer him, "seal the commitment. Proclaim the emotion to her and she could be yours."

A long pause filled the air, and immediately, Madeleine's breath had become lost somewhere inside of her, understanding the stranger's suggestion.

Gripping the handle of the door, Madeleine cleared her head and throat as she opened the door and walked into the room.

It was mostly the same as she had seen it last. The stairs were over to her right on the wall adjacent to her. The windows at the front of the house were still covered with splintered, wooden panels, and the room itself was rather big. The light above was switched off, and another lamp was lit in the corner, lighting up the area in a soft glow.

Another couch sat before a T.V. in the corner of the room while a small dresser sat parallel to the entrance of the room which had a small, Bub's burger boy decoration sitting atop it. She could have sworn she saw it moving as she entered the room, but then again, she decided to push away the shock, remembering the doughboys that Johnny had earlier.

Johnny was standing, back to her, not noticing her presence as he nodded at the decoration. One hand rubbed the back of his neck as he bowed his head, frowning and scrunching his nose for some odd reason.

"You love this girl, yes? You protect her and want the best for her, yes? You killed yourself when you heard that she had died of anorexia, yes? You would do anything for her. You've succumbed to the emotion in which you were supposed to feel," the burger boy said with the shine of plastic glinting in it's eye. It smiled widely, but it's attention flicked to Madeleine, abruptly stopping with a sly smile.

Johnny continued to nod his head, oblivious to the fact that Madeleine was standing behind him, tears gathering in her eyes.

"Speak of the devil…," the boy said with a low chuckle, gesturing to Madeleine.

Johnny stopped rubbing his neck, tensing up before letting his hand fall to his side.

"Johnny…," she whispered lightly, "what is he saying?"

"Shitty timing… horrid," Johnny turned around, face soft and completely washed of any stress. His eyes shone lightly with tears as he looked at her, pressing his lips together and contemplating on his words.

Madeleine studied him warily and tiredly, seeing that the drug had also been a sedative, making her somewhat sleepy. But despite this, Madeleine kept her eyes glued to Johnny, curious and somewhat worried at the current situation at hand. Frowning, Madeleine narrowed her eyes and questioned, "why are you crying?"

Johnny then took Madeleine in an embrace, holding her tightly as he grumbled out, "no matter how corny this may sound, please, bear with me…"

Still frowning, afraid for the sudden act of emotion, Madeleine tried to soften her face as she nodded.

"Do you remember when you first saw me? You smiled. Do you remember when I knocked you out, dragged you to my torture chambers and chained you to a wall, upside down; I was going to commit suicide and take you along with me. You helped talk me out of it. Do you remember when we were on that hill that one summer night, talking about our backgrounds and why we are who we are? You told me your life story; completely truthful except for the part about the anorexia. We became friends."

Johnny's voice had started to become uneven as he tried terribly to keep himself together. Taking a long, deep breath, Johnny continued on, resting his cheek on her head.

"Do you remember the day that I had left you for your own safety, leaving you in that hotel room after all that had happened with Mr. Fuck? We both died that day.* When I heard that you had died, several months later, I let go; killed myself. My one and only friend, the only one who had even the slightest ounce of care, had died because I couldn't keep a promise. Heaven," Johnny cleared his throat, trying to keep his voice stable before continuing, "Heaven had no place for me, and neither did Hell; both casting me back to Earth where I woke up. Not long after, I found you, alive. Maddie," Johnny sniffed, letting out an uneasy breath, "I love you; I had lost you once. I… couldn't even begin to comprehend the idea of losing you again…horrible, shitty timing for this…"

Madeleine was speechless; at loss for words. Memories flooded back to sitting in the corner of her hotel room, blood running from a cut in her jawbone, laughing insanely from the fact that someone whom she loved was leaving her. The scene changed to when she had applied for a job at NERVE, and getting accepted into the company. The memory had faded yet again to when Johnny had shown up at her doorstep on Christmas Eve with shaved hair and a baffled expression.

More memories overcame her: falling in the snow with Johnny, the kiss, the meeting at the cemetery and being introduced to Todd. The beginning of their date, the movie, and the too realistic memory of the rape attempt.

It all came to her in less than a second, silent tears creeping down her face as she buried herself into Johnny's chest, "what are you trying to sa-."

"Will you marry me?"

* * *

><p>(AUTHOR'S NOTE:)<p>

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know… sappy… BUT YOU KNOW YOU LIKED IT! YOU KNOW YOU DID, SO SHUT UP! :D  
>AHH JOHNNY PROPOSED! What next…? Will she say yes? No?<p>

Uh… the beginning of the chapter was your dose of violence, so, I hope that satisfied your needs.

LAST CHAPTER IS NEXT! I WILL ADD ONE LAST STORY TO THE TRILOGY! But it will be fairly short, considering the fact that high school is coming up pretty soon.

(*) when I said that they died, I meant mentally…, not physically.

Just to let you know, romance is VERY HARD TO DO WITH JTHM characters, especially if you are trying to keep them as in character as you can. So, please, do restrain yourself from saying 'OMG JOHNNY IS TOO OOC', because I already know what I've gotten myself into.

I do, also know how FAST I moved the romance, seeing that they had only gone on one date… but I was getting NOWEHRE with the story line, so… I changed it up a little bit, forcing Nny to act quickly. (please, don't mention that either in the reviews…)

Disclaimers…:

Johnny and any JTHM characters belong to Jhonen Vasquez. Not me.

I own Madeleine.

You get a free digital cookie for every review. So, REVIEW!


	15. Chapter 15

(JOHNNY'S POV)

Pulling back, Maddie grew still.

Madeleine had a blank expression on her face as tears filled in her eyes. The light from the lamp glinted against the blue shine in her eyes while her tangled, black locks hung around her face. Johnny's new, sleek trench coat fittingly hung on her body, closed and buttoned, giving her a rather formal look.

The noise that had thrashed and slammed against the walls of his head had stopped; the unfortunate suggestions to kill her had ended, giving him listless silence as he watched Madeleine's tears crawl down her bruised face.

He could. He could care for her as she, him. He could protect her, keep her from the shit that crawled through the city streets and hold her when she cried. Johnny would be there.

He would.

It was then that Madeleine had clung onto Johnny's torso, burying her face in his shoulder while she tried to hold back her sobs. The remnants of her sparkling tears soaked through Johnny's shirt while she embraced him tightly.

It was an absolutely horrid moment to propose, especially after Madeleine was attempted at rape, but Johnny couldn't hold it in any longer. He had no ring, no item to give to her; all he had was himself.

However, emotions were to be expressed; never to be held back or hidden.

Johnny knew; from the very moment he had laid eyes on her, when she had smiled at him before leaving to go to the hotel, that there was something different. She wasn't the kind who was consumed in anger or easily shaken. She wasn't the type who would force something on someone; she would let things go, no matter how much stress would weigh her down.

She wasn't the natural type of person who would sneer at your appearance or state rude remarks about someone from afar; quiet, sincere, and completely tolerable.

Johnny knew; from the moment that he had freed her from his torture chambers, and the small chat they had shared about suicide that she had cared.

Johnny couldn't fight against what he had felt when he had first hugged her in her hotel room, when he had fallen asleep on her shoulder several hours later.

Nny still could hear her sobs from behind the hotel door as he left the room, leaving Madeleine baffled and completely alone.

Straining himself from cringing at the memory, Johnny hugged Madeleine back, more and more memories slowly forming in his eyes as he regretted his earlier decision of leaving Madeleine.

_**There is a disturbing association in your mind, between feeling and weakness. I concur that it does present a vulnerability… but it means to openness! To pleasures! To pains! To grievance and rapture!... your body screams for INPUT!**_

_**You were born… a… feeling creature… feeling…**_

_**There is no unlearning of your nature.**_

Johnny's own voice rang out in his head as the conversation with Reverend Meat continued on.

_I don't understand how she could be so… so… I can't comprehend why I feel like this._

_**Pitying remorse… let yourself feel for the human; emotions are the key to life. Hunger; long for the input in which you hide yourself from. Let yourself experience LOVE.**_

_**You love this girl, yes? You protect her and want the best for her, yes? You killed yourself when you heard that she had died of anorexia, yes? You would do anything for her. You've succumbed to the emotion in which you were supposed to feel…**_

Johnny's memory flicked back to the CD that Madeleine had played in the car on the way to the lake. She had a large collection of Nickelback songs, most of which Johnny could remember the lyrics to. But there was one in particular that made Maddie's face flush in embarrassment.

The song, being rather romantic and mushy, was a song that Johnny knew from the heart; 'Far Away'.

Starting to hum, Johnny swayed side to side in rhythm, opening his mouth to start the sappy lyrics.

"_This time, this place  
>Misused, mistakes<br>Too long, too late  
>Who was I to make you wait?<em>

_Just one chance, just one breath_  
><em>Just in case there's just one left<em>  
><em>'Cause you know<em>  
><em>You know, you know<em>

_That I love you, I have loved you all along_  
><em>And I miss you, been far away for far too long<em>  
><em>I keep dreaming you'll be with me and you'll never go<em>  
><em>Stop breathing if I don't see you anymore…,"<em>

It was now that Madeleine had started to both laugh and cry, pulling away from him and wiping her eyes with her exposed, bruised and scarred wrists. Worried now, Johnny pressed his lips together, watching Madeleine intently until she looked at him in the eyes with a small smile on her face, more silver tears sketching lines down her face as she nodded.

"Yes," Madeleine smiled a little bigger as she continued to nod her head, crying and laughter mixing together.

Time froze in a millisecond, Johnny completely still as all the emotions that he had ever experienced with Madeleine came back to him in one fellow swoop. Warmth, bittersweet memories, ecstasy, anger, lust, depression, and complete bliss all flooded his head, to his body and stomach, weighing him down.

Immediately, Johnny lowered his face, pressing his lips tenderly against Madeleine's, circling his arms around her and holding her carefully but securely so as to not crush her.

Once again, Johnny got the taste of cherries mixed with tears as the kiss grew more and more passionate; Madeleine's arms around his neck, standing on her toes.

Several moments had passed, Madeleine and Johnny lost in the kiss before Maddie pulled away, returning back to the warmth of Johnny's hug and continuing the song with a very shaky but meaningful voice.

"_On my knees, I'll ask  
>Last chance for one last dance<br>Cause with you I'd withstand  
>All of it to hold your hand…<em>

_I'd give it all, I'd give for us  
>Give anything but I won't give up<br>'Cause you know  
>You know, you know…<em>

_That I love you, I have loved you all along…"_

She lost her voice due to emotion and tears as Johnny held her, swaying to the rhythm and continuing on from where she left off.

"_And I miss you, been far away for far too long  
>I keep dreaming you'll be with me and you'll never go<br>Stop breathing if I don't see you anymore_

_So far away, been far away for far too long_  
><em>So far away, been far away for far too long<em>  
><em>But you know<em>  
><em>You know, you know<em>

_I wanted_  
><em>I wanted you to stay<em>  
><em>'Cause I needed<em>  
><em>I need to hear you say-,"<em>

Johnny was cut off from the next verse as Madeleine whispered,

"Dammit Johnny, you've gotten so sappy…," before kissing his jawbone and whispering the next bit of verses.

"_I love you, I have loved you all along  
>And I forgive you for being away for far too long<br>So keep breathing 'cause I'm not leaving you anymore  
>Believe it, hold on to me, never let me go<em>

_Keep breathing 'cause I'm not leaving you anymore_  
><em>Believe it, hold on to me, never let me go<em>  
><em>Hold on to me, never let me go<em>  
><em>Hold on to me, never let me go…"<em>

The last two verses came out uneven as her voice cracked and wavered with emotion. Even Johnny had to admit that the moment was sickly romantic, but this was easily pushed away as they continued to sway in the middle of the living room until Madeleine stifled a yawn and closed her eyes, burying her face into Johnny's neck.

Realizing this, Johnny remembered the pain pills that he had requested she take; they had sedatives in it, which is most likely why Madeleine was dozing off on his shoulder.

"C'mon, you need some rest."

Madeleine grunted out in disapproval, clinging onto Johnny's neck while she sighed tiredly.

Looking over to his side, Johnny spotted Reverend Meat, watching the couple with growing interest, chuckling with success and delight. Narrowing his eyes, Johnny's mind played back through one last memory, making him shudder and his heart flip.

A blurry hotel room… the edges of the memory faded to black as he tried to gain focus. Before him was a pair of eyes, lines leading away from the endless pupils and arrows pointing to the side. In the background however, was a woman with wavy black locks and a face that pleaded and begged for reason.

"**What was it, why dare take the chance**_-KILL HER! CUT HER THROAT OUT, undeserving little-"_

A dominant voice rang through his ears as the memory progressed to the climax.

"BECAUSE I LOVE YOU, DAMN IT!"

The flashback ended and Johnny realized he was staring at Madeleine's shoulder, both of them standing completely still before he decided to make a move.

Bending down, Johnny scooped Madeleine into his arms as he did earlier, holding her to his chest as he walked to his bedroom, where he had put her before. Maddie just frowned a little before letting go of his neck and grabbing onto his thin torso.

It was a rather innocent, adorable move considering that neither Madeleine nor Johnny ever expressed emotions through a hug or kiss very often, so it was completely alien and new to them.

Sitting down on the couch in his bedroom, Johnny let go of her, smoothing her hair down before grabbing the remote on the small wooden side table, flipping the television on and starting to watch his favorite commercial: a whole family experiencing diarrhea.

A half smile grew on his face as Madeleine shifted in her sleep, muttering something about Todd and a family.

Johnny smiled at the thought of the terrified, but cute little neighbor. Such a nice little Squee… it was depressing how his parents hated him so. A child needed to be loved and cared for, not resented for their existence.

He was such a nice, innocent little Squee…

Frowning, Johnny let his mind wander to the future, wondering what all could possibly happen if they chose the option of a family. But honestly, Johnny couldn't bring himself to the idea of an infant in his custody; the idea screwed with his mind too easily.

*Still; it was an option they were free and open to use.

Johnny's eye twitched with unsettling nervousness as he brought his eyes back to Madeleine. Could he bring himself to do that? Could he?

Beginning to hum once again, Johnny kissed Maddie's fluffy, black hair, lying his cheek on her head as he continued to frown before whispering to himself, "_So keep breathing 'cause I'm not leaving you anymore; Believe it, hold on to me, never let me go; Keep breathing 'cause I'm not leaving you anymore; Believe it, hold on to me, never let me go."_

Shaking his head, Johnny formed his lips into a thin line as he closed his eyes, took a deep breath, continuing to hum to their song.

* * *

><p>(AUTHOR'S NOTE:)<p>

THIS WAS THE LAST CHAPTER!

MUSHY, GUSHY SAPPINESS! WOOOH!

Er… (*) when I say options I mean sex…

But… personally, if I added a chapter dedicated to THAT ALONE, I would never forgive myself… I would never be able to read any of my JTHM comics ever the same way again…

Ahh, they swayed to Madeleine's favorite song! (okay, so, I might not have told you that it was her favorite song earlier, but it was somewhat implied…)

I HAVE ONE MORE STORY TO ADD IN THE TRILOGY! And please, by all means, DO REVIEW on the first chapter for the next story to let me know that you are following along!

Hmm… what does Johnny have in mind after their marriage? *wink wink nudge nudge*

HERE IS THE TITLE FOR THE NEXT STORY! (But be aware that I might change it. I do tend to revise the title or summary, so be on the lookout)

**Possibilities**

**Summary: Johnny and Madeleine are married and must learn the way of a married life along with being given the option of…a FAMILY? Twist in the plot…HORRIBLE summary, relatively good story. 'T' for romance. **

**Yes, it's sappy.**

So, here's the disclaimer I guess: Johnny and all JTHM characters belong to Jhonen Vasquez. I own Madeleine. Nickelback owns the lyrics to 'Far Away' along with the song. I don't own it.

Review… please?

"_**Your friend thought he could fight…"**_

_**-Sickness/ Jhonen Vasquez**_


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